In the Onania Masturbator Forum, a Masturbator Wrote:
In private, in my secret life, I am a gross naked compulsive masturbator, obsessed with sex, my hand always stroking my penis. In my mind’s eye my erection is a foot long, the most beautiful thing in the world. It governs my life, I devote myself to fulfilling its needs. It is as true now as when I was a priapic teenager – if I have time and privacy I will almost always devote it to masturbation. But nobody knows that about me.
Fergus MacDougal – More
I have a dual self-image, probably familiar to many readers of this forum. Let me describe the two people that I am.
In public I am well spoken, erudite, polite, usually well dressed, reserved but reasonably sociable. I am told that I have a distinguished look and impressive manner, as befits a retired professor. This is the persona known to friends and family, professional associates, and people I meet day to day. Respectable and normal, nothing shocking about me at all.
In private, in my secret life, I am a gross naked compulsive masturbator, obsessed with sex, my hand always stroking my penis. In my mind’s eye my erection is a foot long, the most beautiful thing in the world. It governs my life, I devote myself to fulfilling its needs. It is as true now as when I was a priapic teenager – if I have time and privacy I will almost always devote it to masturbation. But nobody knows that about me.
I am not a pathetic compulsive masturbator, I feel no shame or guilt about who I really am or what I do. It is a lifestyle choice, I just love to masturbate and to indulge in everything related to that. I keep it secret because society still seems to frown upon masturbators, or worse yet, to laugh at them.
Being retired I have abundant time to devote to my favorite form of recreation, masturbating almost every day, usually for hours at a time. I treasure pornography, indulge myself in erotic writing, explore various kinks that contribute to sexual pleasure, anything that feeds my need to stroke my penis and maintain the mental high that masturbation gives me.
Does this self-description resonate with any of you?
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Yes it does resonate with me. To start with, I began masturbating at about 12 and was into porn at 14. that was 70 plus years ago.I was taught that both were sinful. Over the years I tried many times to stop but never could.
Like you I was a professional, suit and tie person, graduate degree, married, grown family. This was my social image, what my associates new mw as.
The other side of me was quite different, I am a chronic masturbator addicted to pornography. When I am alone all my thoughts are on masturbating, thinking about it. I am into all kinds of pornography which keeps me thinking about playing with my cock constantly. I crave more and more all the time.
Three things happened over the past 25 years which increased my addiction and need for more masturbation. About that time my wife lost all interest in sex. Sometime later I found a, I’ll call it a magazine although initially it was only five or six pages titled “Celebrate Thy Self” dedicated to masturbation. In one issue was a letter from a priest who was a lifelong masturbator and saw masturbation as nothing wrong. I eventually met him on several occasions and he supported my reasoning that masturbation was normal and natural. Subsequently I found Richard’s web site. Richard’s vast knowledge of masturbation made me understand I was an addicted masturbator. The three instances together increased my desire to masturbate more. As you stated, I am not a pathetic masturbator and I no longer ashamed or embarrassed about my masturbation. In all the years I have been a masturbator and devotee of pornography I have been able to keep private and no one close to me knows about it.
I am retired from the professional life and now have the time for my addicted life.
It resonates deeply with me Fergus