Now over to the boys, who present an entirely contrasting issue. My main concern is this: How often can you beat the bishop without becoming a one-handed, sore-dicked, sun-deprived psycho? Don’t get me wrong — I understand how playing a little game of pocket pool in class might pass the minutes, but do yourself a favor and set some log flogging boundaries. For example, you know that chick you’ve been jerking off with for the past month is finally going to put out tonight; now would be an acceptable time to beat your meat. Or, you’re stressed out about an upcoming final; also a suitable occasion to take your dog for a walk. You start the day off with an extended shower session or some alone time in the evening opens up before bed; go ahead buddy, pump that python.
Just remember to preserve the sacredness of your pipe cleaning tradition, or it will cease to be special. More specifically, does 0-4 times per day sound reasonable? And girls, how about squeezing in some rubbing it out alone time at least once a week? I promise you there is nothing healthier or more natural — in moderation, of course.