The Masturbator Pensées (Thoughts) are collections of fragments written by chronic masturbators
- What made you decide to go pussy-free, and how did you ever reach such a life-changing decision?
How do you see your porn addiction developing in the future? Do you expect to become even more of a goon about it, or do you think you’re at the most extreme level? I assume you’ve gone totally pussy-free now? Do you think you’ll ever want to get real pussy again, or are you only in love with your silicone sex dolls and toys? Will you miss having pussy, or do you think you won’t even care if you never have it again? Can you keep a balance with the rest of your life, like with your job?
About 10 years ago, I tried No Fap on the grounds that I wasn’t getting anywhere with asking women out etc and I’d only ever been inside a pussy once (and that was with an escort – no regrets about that BTW). I thought my reliance on my collection of Playboy magazines and DVDs for sexual relief was somehow holding me back. At that point, I had also lost a lot of weight, was exercising regularly (running mainly) and figured this must have some impact on how women perceive me. So I disposed of the mags/discs and tried to see where that would lead. I won’t go into the details, but I didn’t get very far, had a very bad experience with one particular person and this actually derailed the fitness gains I’d made as I sank into a bit of a depression. Regardless of this, I still felt very horny, so abandoned No Fap when I realised that I was constantly relapsing and the wet dreams I would inevitably have every few weeks involved me dreaming of masturbating to those Playboy models (not even having sex with them!). I started rebuying the magazines and DVDs I had thrown out and became genuinely enthused by how great all those solo sessions felt as I had renewed vigour in the choice I’d made. I loved “having sex” with them and it genuinely made me really happy. Shortly thereafter, I finally took the plunge and joined a few of the online Playboy communities that I had lurked on for years before that as I thought this was probably where my sex life was at and I might as well embrace it. This was the key as many of them had links to masturbation communities too. I’ve had loads of amazing online discussions with fellow Playboy enthusiasts: waxed lyrical about how amazing the women are, stroked for them and generally had such a positive experience with it. I found this place somewhat by accident (Google search for masturbation communities) and the pussy free component was what most intrigued me. I took the pledge a few years ago and haven’t looked back. And as <@1271185217327071360> says, it’s made my daily interactions with women (at work etc) far easier as I have way less anxiety about how I act around them. I’m also a bit relieved that I no longer care as my penis is only 4 inches erect, so it would be horrendously embarrassing for me if they saw that! It’s plenty good enough for my Playboy girls though. ?
For me it was an evolving process. I was married but was having less and less sex with my wife until finally we weren’t having any. I just found sex unsatisfying and masturbation was so much better. After we divorced I thought I’d start dating again but not right away, but years went by and I realized I really enjoyed the freedom of masturbating when I wanted without having to hide it from a partner. I thought it was weird and strange that I felt this way, I thought I was just meant to be ‘celibate’ (which I knew was weird enough on its own). But it was only when I discovered masturbation-oriented Tumblrs about a decade ago that I learned there were lots of other dedicated solo masturbators out there, and seeing how many of them used their pride in their long-term sexlessness to drive their masturbation – something just clicked right into place for me, these were MY people! (And not long after, I recognized that I’m actually asexual, which I guess explains my lack of interest in partnered sex. But I still credit masturbation for leading me to accepting myself as celibate, asexual, and pussyfree, and I’m forever grateful for it.)
My online Mistress had me confessing and exploring my fetishes. Eventually my sex life became more and more focused on her and her control. One day she told me that I would eventually go “pussy free”. It very much confused me at first, but I eventually ended up sexualizing my pussyfree denial journey. 9 years ago I made the pledge to stay pussyfree and have kept that promise ever since.
For my wife and I, it was a combination of things. She’s never been sexual. And once we had kids, her minimal sex drive took a nose dive.
We also were waiting until marriage and are both religious but we masturbated together during our dating phase so that shaped our mutual love of masturbation.
She also doesn’t cum from sex. She only cums from me fingering her clit and I prefer to jerk off rather than have sex. I’m small and have debilitating performance anxiety (yet I get hard while masturbating thanks to my PPAD).
Our “sex” life for the past 3 years has been either us masturbating together or just me masturbating fully nude in front of her while she whips her tits out and rubs my head, humiliating me.
I wouldn’t trade what I have for all the sex in the world!
I resisted embracing being pussyfree for a long time after the realization first dawned, in the middle of the night, masturbating and writing a masturbation autobiography for the old Onania site. One after another I recalled sexual successes which were more important to me for the masturbation they inspired, than the sex itself. I began to call myself a “Masturbator”, but I clung my identity as a pussy lover.
Over time, and masturbating with other pussyfree men, I realized the fact of being pussyfree in spirit, and my masturbation was rewarded with intensity and pleasure I never imagined.
My relationships with women changed wonderfully; since I no longer was hoping to hump them, I could enjoy many more facets of their personalities. I no longer feared ‘slights’ and ‘rejections’, and now I could sexualize rejection, as I always had, but much more intensely.
I have never been good at sex. I always cum fast no matter what I try. When I masturbate I can go for hours if I want to. My gf and I started exploring with other people and I noticed the sex she had with others was a lot better straight away. Over time I felt less and less need to fuck. I was happy masturbating. The more I masturbated the more I wanted to do it. Nowadays I don’t have sex with her at all. We do oral, wich she has full control over and masturbate together too. She still has sex with other people
I have quite a bit more distance to travel with my addiction to pornography and masturbation. I have declared myself pussy free with the exception I only deal with others who have porn addictions similar to mine. I have cast aside “normie” society because it never served me much socially. I have had so much lack luster sex in the first place that there is not much to miss for me. I never got to have those feel good bonds of truly satisfying intimacy. In fact my best sexual experience was with a goonette last year so that has already solidified my resolve. I do have a balance with the rest of my life. I can easily scroll porn in my free like like how others check social media. There is not much to my life other that work, claw out of debt, masturbate, and watch porn. As a whole society failed me on fundamental levels. I just cosplay and pretend. The interactions have always been hollow anyway. Now i just accept it as the reality it is. I treat situations that don’t involve money as NPC interactions and keep it moving. My world is at home with Porn. May 28, 2025 11:33 AM
I used to think something was wrong with me because I never had satisfying relationships with others and I could never meet my sexual equal. After my divorce a switch just flipped and I fully committed to a lifestyle fully addicted to porn and masturbation. If I fundamental compatibility issues with people and intimacy is should just cast aside all desires that end with pain and replace it with gooning.
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