Premature ejaculation, part 1
Someone, whose name I won’t mention for privacy reasons, asked me what to do with premature ejaculation. For him, it is a problem both when having sex with a partner and during masturbation.
First things first : what is premature ejaculation ?
According to the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV), premature ejaculation is a recurrent problem where the ejaculation occurs with minimal sexual stimulation and before the man wishes. In other words : the man comes more quickly than he wants, before he can truly enjoy the pleasures of sex.
Note, in the definition, the important clause “before the man wishes”. These words are crucial : any man can make himself come in 45 seconds if he wishes to. But that doesn’t make this man a premature ejaculator. The problem arises when the ejaculation occurs too soon beyond the man’s control or will.
Time wise, a man ejaculating after less than two minutes of sexual stimulation is considered to have a premature ejaculation problem. Why two minutes ? Because, for research, there needs to be a cutoff point somewhere ! If you can only last for three minutes, you won’t be included in studies on the subject, but it doesn’t mean that you are not afflicted by this problem in real life.
Premature ejaculation affects as many as one in three men through life. Of course, this statistic includes all kind of premature ejaculators : from the one time accident to the recurrent premature ejaculator. While accidental premature ejaculators are very likely to laugh about their incident and quickly forget about it, recurrent premature ejaculators experience a real distress as this problem affects not only their ability to enjoy sex, but also the quality of their relationships. It is a common cause of tension if not divorce.