Discussing married masturbation with AI
https://onania.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4815
Page 1 of 1
Discussing married masturbation with AI
Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2025 4:55 am
by mrrigid
I definitely enjoy clinical discussions of masturbation, so who better to chat with than an AI? Some of my recent questions and answers from Gemini:
Why would mature, married men become obsessed with masturbation? Why would they spend hours masturbating?
Mature, married men might become obsessed with masturbation, spending hours engaged in the act, for a variety of complex reasons. This intense focus on masturbation can stem from a combination of psychological, emotional, and even physiological factors.
One common reason is a decline in marital intimacy or satisfaction. If a man’s sexual needs are not being met within his marriage, or if there’s a lack of emotional connection, he might turn to masturbation as an outlet. The ease and immediate gratification of masturbation, can become a substitute for more involved but less accessible marital intimacy.
Stress and anxiety can also contribute to an obsession with masturbation. In a stressful world, the act of masturbation can be a coping mechanism, offering a temporary escape or a way to release tension. The physiological release of chemicals during ejaculation can provide a sense of calm and well-being, albeit fleeting.
For some men, the ritualistic nature of spending hours in masturbation can offer a sense of control in an otherwise chaotic life. The focus on the penis and the pursuit of ejaculation can become a predictable and controllable source of pleasure.
Furthermore, some men may develop a compulsive sexual behavior, where masturbation becomes an addiction. This can be driven by a desire for novelty, or by an escalating need for more intense stimulation to achieve the same level of satisfaction. This compulsion can lead to spending hours in masturbation, with the penis as the central focus, often despite negative consequences in their lives.
Boredom or a lack of engaging activities can also play a role. If a man feels unfulfilled in other aspects of his life, he might turn to masturbation as a way to fill time or find excitement. The immediate pleasure derived from stimulating the penis can be a potent, albeit temporary, antidote to feelings of emptiness or stagnation.
Finally, some men may be exploring their sexuality, even later in life. This could involve discovering new fantasies or preferences that they may not feel comfortable sharing with their spouse. Masturbation provides a private space for this exploration, allowing them to indulge in these thoughts and desires, leading to hours spent with their penis.
It’s important to note that while masturbation is a normal and healthy activity, an obsession or compulsion that consumes hours and interferes with daily life or relationships can be a sign of underlying issues that may benefit from professional help.
Why would women enjoy watching their husbands masturbate?
Sexual attraction and enjoyment are very personal and diverse, and what one person finds pleasurable, another might not. There isn’t a universal reason why all women would enjoy watching their husbands masturbate, but some possible reasons might include:
Voyeurism: For some individuals, watching others engage in sexual activity can be a source of arousal and pleasure. This is a recognized aspect of human sexuality, often referred to as voyeurism.
Intimacy and Connection: For a couple, watching a partner masturbate can be a way to deepen intimacy and connection. It can be a shared sexual experience, even if one person is not directly participating in the physical act. It can also be a way to observe and understand a partner’s unique sexual responses and preferences, which can be beneficial for their shared sex life.
Sexual Exploration and Learning: It can be an opportunity for a woman to learn more about her husband’s body, what he finds
stimulating, and how he experiences pleasure. This knowledge can then be applied to their shared sexual activities.
Arousal and Foreplay: For some, it might serve as a form of foreplay or lead to other sexual activities. Witnessing a partner’s arousal
can be arousing in itself.
Curiosity: Simple curiosity about their partner’s solo sexual experience might be a factor.
Power Dynamics: In some relationships, there might be an element of power dynamics or a desire to witness their partner’s vulnerability and pleasure.
It’s important to remember that communication and consent are key in any sexual activity within a relationship. If a woman is interested in watching her husband masturbate, it’s something that should be discussed openly and respectfully between them to ensure both partners are comfortable and consenting.
How can wives support and encourage their husband’s masturbation habits?
A healthy approach to a husband’s masturbation habits within a marriage involves open communication, understanding, and mutual respect. Here’s how wives can support and encourage their husband’s self-pleasure:
1. Open and Honest Communication:
Initiate the conversation: Don’t be afraid to talk about masturbation. It’s a natural and healthy part of sexuality for many people, even in a committed relationship.
Express your feelings: Use “I” statements to share how you feel, rather than making accusations. For example, “I feel a bit distant when you masturbate privately and I wonder if we could talk about it,” instead of “You’re always masturbating and not having sex with me.”
Understand his perspective: Ask him why he masturbates. It could be for stress relief, to explore his own desires, or simply for a quick release when partnered sex isn’t feasible or desired. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s dissatisfied with your sex life.
Address any concerns: If you have concerns (e.g., if it’s replacing intimacy, if he’s using excessive porn), discuss them calmly and as a team.
2. Acknowledge and Validate:
Normalize it: Understand that masturbation is common and can be a healthy form of self-care and sexual expression.
Remove shame and stigma: Many people feel embarrassed or guilty about masturbation, especially in a relationship. Your support can help reduce these feelings.
Recognize its benefits: Masturbation can help a person learn about their own body and what brings them pleasure, which can actually enhance partnered sex by improving communication about desires. It can also be a healthy outlet when sex isn’t an option due to different libidos, schedules, or circumstances.
3. Explore Together (if comfortable):
Mutual masturbation: If you’re both open to it, consider engaging in mutual masturbation. This can be a fun and intimate way to connect sexually, even when you’re pleasuring yourselves individually. You can do this in the same room, or even over video/phone.
Share fantasies: Discussing fantasies, including those used during solo play, can add excitement and new layers to your sex life.
Bring insights into partnered sex: Encourage your husband to share what he learns about his body and preferences through masturbation, and explore how you can incorporate those insights into your shared sexual experiences.
4. Create a Supportive Environment:
Respect privacy: Understand that sometimes he might want private “me time” for self-pleasure.
Avoid judgment: Approach the topic with an open mind and a non-judgmental attitude.
Focus on overall intimacy: Ensure that masturbation isn’t replacing emotional or physical intimacy in your relationship. If you feel a disconnect, address that broader issue rather than just focusing on masturbation.
When to Seek Professional Help:
If masturbation habits are causing significant distress, interfering with the intimacy of your relationship, or becoming a source of guilt, shame, or conflict that you can’t resolve yourselves, consider seeking guidance from a sex therapist or couples counselor. They can help facilitate open dialogue and provide strategies for a healthier sexual dynamic.
I hope you find these topics as arousing as me! Perhaps some dinner-talk with the spouse?
Re: Discussing married masturbation with AI
Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 11:03 am
by jswordy
Interesting. I recently explored to see if there was any literature on how common sexless marriages are. Found out in one research paper that an average 58% of long-term marriages (defined as 10 years or longer) are sexless, and that the percentage of sexless marriages goes up as the length of the marital relationship gets longer. Frankly, that’s a WAY higher percentage than I expected going into my search.
My marriage has been sexless for about 15 years, since my wife went through menopause and lost interest in the physicality of the act, and then sex in general. Though she does masturbate very occasionally, her sex drive is very low – in the range of an afterthought. That left me with aching balls and a range of options, including:
1.) Stay with her because I love her and everything else we have is great, but establish a more close relationship with Rosy Palm.
2.) Go online to have an electronic affair.
3.) Have a RL affair.
4.) Divorce.
Over the 15 years, I have chosen a combination of #1 and #2 to varying degrees as circumstances permit. What some would call “cheating” on her, this arrangement has actually kept our relationship very stable, whereas #3 or #4 would not have done so. We do enjoy, care for and love each other in every other way, just not sexually.
IMHO, it all comes down to this: A woman may decide to have sex. But a man has to have sex.
Not having sexual release makes things extremely physically uncomfortable for me, as I learned years ago when a Mistress forbade me from cumming, stringing me along for 3 months. I let her control that for so long to see what would happen to me. That devoted denial did focus my mind on doing ANYTHING she wanted me to do, trying to get her to relent, and of course she loved that and commented often about it. But the pressure was constant, intense and insistent by the end of that abstinence. When I was finally permitted to cum, the first two orgasms were not pleasurable. They were painful. The cum expelled in the first and second orgasms was dark yellow, because it was old. After clearing out that, I returned to spewing whitish cum and things got back to fun orgasms. (I will never agree to do that for so long again.)
Also, study after study says that the best prostate cancer prevention is to be regularly drained. So my good FWB Rosie Palm and the outlets available on the internet to arouse me via my kinks have preserved our marriage while allowing me the needed milking. Your mileage may vary.
Re: Discussing married masturbation with AI
Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2025 11:22 am
by mrrigid
jswordy wrote: Tue Jul 15, 2025 11:03 am
IMHO, it all comes down to this: A woman may decide to have sex. But a man has to have sex.
Your post raises a number of interesting (and arousing!) points:
Sexless marriages – close to inevitable, it seems. What strikes me as relatively new is the extent to which some men choose to embrace the process and become passionate about their masturbation – testing lubricants, buying toys and spending hours in solosexual pleasure – and how they frequently are comfortable being public about the benefits they are enjoying!
If this can happen with the support and encouragement of their wives, it can be a very exciting experience indeed for the male! On the other hand, nothing is worse than a post-sex spouse who won’t countenance even hidden playtime.
Regarding what you call “devoted denial” – my wife and I have done this was well for a number of years – in part to keep us connnected when sex was infrequent. We’ve both enjoyed the benefits, and I haven’t experienced the negative consequences you mentioned.
So when I’m alone, I don’t ejaculate – just edging, and when we’re together, it’s up to her (50/50%, generally)
Yes, prostate health is a concern. I think it would be arousing to at least have the conversation about my having a ‘hall pass’ for the occasional solo ejaculation. Perhaps if she’s going out of town someday, I will!
All times are UTC-05:00
Page 1 of 1
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited
For the source of these thoughts, join one of our forums: