One of the tasks of a good friend or accountability partner to someone who is entrenched in pornography is to help them understand their own heart. Why do they run to porn again and again? Solomon reminds us that “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water”—we often can’t see our own motivations—”but a man of understanding will draw it out” (Proverbs 20:5). A wise friend helps to draw out of others the deeper motivations they are unable or unwilling to see in themselves.
As an accountability partner, it is important to understand the allure of pornography: What deeper motivations keep men coming back to it again and again? What are good accountability questions we can ask to get to the root of the problem?