“When I had my first wet dream, I had no idea what was going on. I thought I had wet my bed. It was a really strange feeling for me. I remember liking the dream, but I felt very embarrassed. I thought that maybe I had some sort of psychological problem. And who was I going to ask about it– my mother?”
The most mysterious and least discussed changes that boys experience with puberty are the maturation of the primary sex characteristics, or the genitals and reproductive system. In addition to growth, boys experience a more radical change: the first ejaculation. This is said to be an invisible event because it lacks a formal name and is rarely discussed. Recently researchers began using the term, “semenarche,” to refer to the first ejaculation. Relatively little is known about how boys understand and interpret this event.
Boys typically experience the first ejaculation as a result of masturbation or a nocturnal emission (or “wet dream”). In one of the few research studies of semenarche, James Stein and Lynn Whisnant Reiser (of the University of Wisconsin Medical School and Yale University Medical School, respectively) found that many boys were unprepared for the event. Like Chad, the boy from the opening paragraph, three-quarters of the boys studied were surprised. One-half were confused and more than two-thirds were curious about the experience. Boys knowledge about semenarche influenced how they interpreted the experience. Boys viewed semenarche more positively and felt more comfortable with their bodies when they were prepared for the event by education from parents and teachers.
Unfortunately discussions about semenarche are rare. More than two-thirds of the boys surveyed did not feel prepared and only one-third viewed parents as important sources of information about sexuality. Boys who felt unprepared for semenarche were more likely to report feeling confused, upset, scared, and out of control afterwards. The difficulties boys have in discussing their feelings and experiences are compounded by the messages that they receive about what it means to be a male in our society. Men are supposed to be cool, confident, strong, and silent. Discussions of feelings and emotions are discouraged. Men don’t admit their vulnerabilities. Boys are encouraged to turn their emotions inward and remain silently confused and curious.
via Pubertal Development in Boys | Suite101.com.