I’m proud and I oscillate between that meaning “proud in myself” as a pornosexual and gooning masturbator, where I don’t need external validation… and proud in terms of wanting to expose my wanking side to anyone who will want to hear about it, see it, join in. Each session I wrestle with the meanings. But I am definitely in love with myself, the heights reached when I get so lost in my bate. So deep in my penis. Truly spiritual connection occurs in this mindstate
I’m addicted and I mean that in the figurative, fetish, arousing sense. Because there is no such thing as a clinically addicted masturbator. Sex and porn addiction labels are pseudo science. I subscribe to the honest psychologist, psychiatric and science journal bodies who tell us that these things are impossible to be “addicted” to. It feels good, and so we do it how much we want to do it. Like as if we loved binge watching TV shows, movies, or playing video games. Each session I decide if I want to include this kink language of addiction! I can control all my ‘vices’; and use them to enhance and sink into my goon deeper…
I’m pathetic, goontarded and a loser… if I want to call myself these highly arousing words. Some days it feels soothing to do so, some days I just watch porn regularly and bate in a trance with no verbal thoughts. Some days I think Daddy thoughts of domination over a woman I’m crushing on, or FWB im thinking of. To think of my potential as a lover in whatever acts I can deliver, an intimate loving partner in general. Still preferring handpussy always. If I truly believed I was turning into a loser, I would work harder on my non-masturbatory hours to continue learning, growing, educating myself in various disciplines. As I might be unemployed now, but I am always working on being stable and secure in my mental health, and working towards better future where I can afford things like TPE sex dolls and other things to enhance my solosexual bate time. Though if a UBI comes along ive long said I’ll group together with a bunch of chronic masturbators and live out my best life in abject masturbatory depravity!
Source: Proud defined by me – Page 2 – Onania Masturbator Forum