The Masturbator Pensées (Thoughts) are collections of fragments written by chronic masturbators
Masturbation Realizations
Unread post by STELU76 » Tue Jun 10, 2025 5:44 am
I’ve been masturbating since I can remember, I don’t know when and how I started doing it all I know is that I’ve done it all the time. I used to do it a lot and when I was very young I would look for any moment and place to masturbate. When I was young I masturbated many times a day I did it to reach orgasm as quickly as possible there were days when I would do it 20 times but over the years I discovered the pleasure of masturbation and I do it for hours I like long masturbation sessions and with small breaks of 10 or 15 minutes I can masturbate for days and nights. Masturbation is part of my life I don’t know what life is like without masturbation and I’m happy with my masturbation addiction and I’m lucky that I have a dick that I can masturbate as much as I want.
Unread post by naturist89 » Tue Jun 10, 2025 8:04 am
I grew up in the 60’s not knowing anything about sex…no sex ed at school, no sex talk from parents and nothing from school age peer group. I began having erections at an early age which led to dry orgasms. I was fascinated and thrilled. I experimented and jacked off quite a bit and never thought about how frequently I did it.
It wasn’t until I when I was in my 20’s, edging and getting lost in cock pleasure just about every day that perhaps I was masturbating more than other men. I had an active sex life but no one ever talked about solo self pleasure. It was a taboo subject back then. I just enjoyed it and thought that as I got older that I would eventually stop. We all know how that went…none of us would be here if that were true!
by Rodjer Kerr » Tue Jun 10, 2025 9:58 am
For some reason, maybe curiosity, I started touching myself around the age of 9 or so. Not really sure what I was doing but for some reason, I like putting my finger inside my bottom under the covers at night. Still no idea what I was doing or that it had anything to do with sexuality. I was deeply ashamed but what I was doing felt good, even though it was dirty. Around this time, I also developed an interest in locking myself in our only family bathroom, in a small ranch house, shared by eight people. I’d use the bathroom, but I also enjoyed looking at my body in the vanity mirror, touching myself standing up, and lying on the floor after undressing, and touching myself. Really just touching, touching my penis, putting my fingers inside, anything that felt good. Finally added some baby oil to my touching routine, pouring it onto my penis, and into my hands, and touching some more. I found if I rubbed the flat palm of my hand on the top of my penis, in circular motions, it created some friction that felt good and raised the intensity of the touch. By now, I’m 45 minutes or so locked in the bathroom and everyone is screaming at me to come out. One time, at age 12, this rubbing/friction thing boiled over and I experienced my first ejaculation. What a mess I’d created! Each time, the same thing, the same routine. I’d added the Sears and JCPenney catalogs around this time, as I really enjoyed looking at the lingerie, bra, and panties pages. I was in shock that women would do this. I had no idea what a woman looked like in her underwear, but I kept coming back to this. I can only imagine the baby oil stained pages of the catalogs, as I diligently attempted to sneak them into and out of the bathrooms.
I knew I was different. I really wasn’t one of the cool kids in school, more often the one that was teased and laughed at by the boys and girls alike. But I had my little routine that felt good (until it was over and I had to clean up my mess) and when all of my classmates started going to parties on Friday and Saturday nights in seventh grade, I never got invited to join and stayed home and played with myself. It felt good. It made me feel better temporarily, until I was finished (and knew what I was doing while my classmates were all making out with girls).
I lost my virginity near my 21st birthday with a young woman, nursing student, who I think felt sorry for me. She let me take her home to her apartment from a party on a very cold night in February 1982. We got in her bed and I clumsily began touching her. She didn’t stop me. But she made me promise I would only put it in for just a second to say I was no longer a virgin, but had to take it out right away. She told me she couldn’t risk getting pregnant ‘by some guy like me’. Not some guy, specifically ‘some guy like me’. All of theses incidents helped me to form my opinion of myself.
I did marry, but my wife wanted children and I was a means to that end. Once we had our second, she moved out of our bedroom and began to sleep alone. My incessant masturbation continued every night. But now, I was using her underwear in my acts, particularly the underwear she’d worn the days before.
It probably wasn’t until 2004 when I joined Richard’s Onania websites, that I realized the full extent of my issues. I finally admitted to my solo sexuality and have fully embraced it the last 20-something years. My beautiful wife, now also 63, has had a sexual reawakening over the past couple of years. As a result of my neglect of her as I turned myself inward, she has reunited with a close male friend that she travels to visit frequently. They are intimate together, as I once figured out what was going on. She doesn’t hide it from me any longer, in fact, gives me several weeks notice of her upcoming travel plans to visit him. As those days before her next trip gets closer, I start to dread it. I know what she is giving him and what he is doing to my wife. I never cared until she decided to give it to someone else, now it’s too late.
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Sorry to hear about the dread you experience at the prospect of your wife’s next trip to reunite with her male “friend”. Though it’s likely you’ve already considered all aspects of your situation, I’ve a few observations. One, an arrangement like this with a gf/wife is precisely what many in our community have or crave. I’m in the latter group as the cuck fantasy has long been a powerful lure for me generally and particularly in past relationships . I’d recommend playing around with the idea and integrating it into your solo practice. You never know how this dynamic might improve your relationship while allowing both of you to pursue bliss. Secondly, sexuality is a profoundly important element of being a human….one we each experience in different ways. You, along with this whole community, have an intense desire for incredible amounts of unrestricted solo play….I commend you for actualizing those desires but your wife has her own sexuality and she deserves to pursue it with the same abandon you’ve pursued yours. I commend her as well. She cannot satisfy or even interest you the way masturbation can….likewise you cannot satisfy or interest her the way a standard male lover can. So you’ve both found what you need while maintaining your marriage…which is a lovely thing. Even if you’re incapable of finding the level of appreciation that a cuck might…you can still wholly accept her needs/desires out of your love for her. Ultimately, I’d advise you embrace all elements of the lifestyle you’ve chosen….especially those you perceive as negative. It’s a waste to carry that weight.
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