The Masturbator Pensées (Thoughts) are collections of fragments written by chronic masturbators
And for those who avoid masturbating to try to redirect their sexual energy into self-improvement – I found it had the opposite effect. I just remember going through times where I’d be particularly irritated by things at work, then realize I hadn’t masturbated for a few days, sometimes over a week? So for me it was like my built-up sexual frustration was sucking energy AWAY from where I needed it, so a good masturbation session was what I needed to clear all that mental noise and tension out of my system. Such a relief to let all the bad vibes flow out into a tissue, didn’t solve every little problem but did make them more bearable?
I crave the pleasure my body experiences, but it’s more than that—I’m addicted to the very state of being addicted. This awareness of my compulsive need to masturbate only intensifies the urge, creating a relentless cycle. The knowledge of my dependency feeds the desire, making the compulsion even stronger.
The knowledge itself becomes an aphrodisiac. I’m not like other men … I’m a masturbator … it’s all i think about …
The knowledge itself becomes an aphrodisiac, arousing me like a fantasy. Other men talk about women, jobs, friends, sports, and family; I think about masturbation. I’m not like other men; I’m a masturbator. My addiction is who I am. The words float through my mind, demanding total attention, erasing everything but the need to get myself off. I can hear the words echoing, “I’m a masturbator.” It’s all I think about, all I dream about, all I am.
full time pussy free bator
I’ve been a full time pussy free bator for close to 8 years now but prior to that had a number of sexual relationships with women, including 3 long term partners who I dated for multiple years….in all 3 relationships I ended up getting cucked as they had sex with other men rather openly and I accepted it. We didn’t discuss it nor pursue it intentionally…it was an organic development they initiated. In the first two relationships, this dynamic emerged after 6-9 months….in the third and final relationship it was present almost immediately. Truthfully, it was a mix of embarrassing and arousing….i knew they wanted/needed the sex from others and didn’t want to deny them that. I was also undeniably turned on by it at times. It also gave me the freedom to bate to my hearts content while still being able to have sex with my gf. In retrospect there was a bonding element to it…..a realization from their perspective that they could fuck other men and stay in a relationship with me, followed by my subconscious acceptance of the reality that I couldn’t capably fuck her. So we organically reconstructed the relationship around the reality that she needed alpha dick and I was a beta bitch boy who couldn’t give it to her. In reality I needed that alpha dick just as badly as she did. In reality I needed to jack off more and more. In reality giving her an orgasm was never for me. In reality I wanted to wear their panties. In reality I wanted to suck the men they saw. In reality I wanted to be bent over and fucked. In reality I’m a cocksucking, panty wearing, sissy boy, cuck, beta fag. Thank you for treating me like the goonfag I was always meant to be.
by AzureGooner33 » Sat Apr 12, 2025 5:19 pm
I’ve been a full time pussy free bator for close to 8 years now but prior to that had a number of sexual relationships with women, including 3 long term partners who I dated for multiple years….in all 3 relationships I ended up getting cucked as they had sex with other men rather openly and I accepted it. We didn’t discuss it nor pursue it intentionally…it was an organic development they initiated. In the first two relationships, this dynamic emerged after 6-9 months….in the third and final relationship it was present almost immediately. Truthfully, it was a mix of embarrassing and arousing….i knew they wanted/needed the sex from others and didn’t want to deny them that. I was also undeniably turned on by it at times. It also gave me the freedom to bate to my hearts content while still being able to have sex with my gf. In retrospect there was a bonding element to it…..a realization from their perspective that they could fuck other men and stay in a relationship with me, followed by my subconscious acceptance of the reality that I couldn’t capably fuck her. So we organically reconstructed the relationship around the reality that she needed alpha dick and I was a beta bitch boy who couldn’t give it to her. In reality I needed that alpha dick just as badly as she did. In reality I needed to jack off more and more. In reality giving her an orgasm was never for me. In reality I wanted to wear their panties. In reality I wanted to suck the men they saw. In reality I wanted to be bent over and fucked. In reality I’m a cocksucking, panty wearing, sissy boy, cuck, beta fag. Thank you for treating me like the goonfag I was always meant to be.
When I was a teenager in the 1990s, I thought masturbation was shameful. “Wanker” was an insult, something to be embarrassed about, even though every boy did it. As if any of us had real pussy to fuck. But still, I felt guilty, like it was something pathetic. I’d jerk off quickly, in secret, wiping away the evidence as fast as possible. Afterward, I’d feel empty, ashamed even with myself. Nobody talked about it honestly—just jokes and insults, reinforcing the idea that it was something to hide.
It took years to unlearn that bullshit. To realize that jerking off wasn’t pathetic—it was just normal. The body wants release, so it takes it. Simple as that. Eventually, I owned it. No more shame, no more guilt. Just me, my hand, and my cock, getting what I needed.
And luckily, I have a wife who not only accepts it but encourages it. Who understands it’s natural, that it doesn’t mean anything is missing. Who even gets turned on by it, watching, playing along. Now, I masturbate without shame, without guilt. Just raw, primal pleasure. The way it should be.
I’m considering making an agreement with my wife that I’ll only masturbate with her awareness and consent. This could mean doing it in bed when she’s not in the mood for sex, which typically happens only during her period, or doing it while she’s away but only after getting her approval via WhatsApp. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone tried it and can share their experience? We’ve been married for 20 years, and when we were younger, we both masturbated frequently, making such an agreement impractical back then. These days, I do it less often and need to be careful not to fully satisfy myself and lose interest in being intimate with my very attractive wife. That’s why I’ve been thinking about this arrangement. Plus, there’s the added excitement of losing the privacy that many of us who masturbate have grown used to, and the thrill of knowing she’s aware and that I’m vulnerable while doing it.
I’ve recently had a minor breakthrough. I attempted, once again, to disrupt my orgasm and consume my ejaculate. Typically, I masturbate while lying down, resulting in ejaculation on my stomach. However, I thought it might be easier to collect it in my hand if I masturbated while kneeling. Interestingly, this position made me more aroused than usual, perhaps because I realized how I must appear. I managed to maintain a heightened state for 10-15 minutes while watching some orgasm denial videos. Eventually, when I was on the verge of climaxing, I paused for a moment, allowing 2-3 clear spurts to land in my hand, which I then successfully consumed. This felt like a significant achievement for me. The only drawback was that I was hoping for a thicker consistency, but what I produced was more like a larger quantity of precum. I might have stopped a stroke or two too early. I’ll need to refine my technique next time. I’m still very aroused but too sore to continue today, so I’ll try again tomorrow. Wish me luck! —-
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