from Porn Loves You
26 M | Long Confession coming up so enjoy:
I bought Porn for the first time the very same day I turned 18 and could legally do so. The first thing I paid for was an audio file by Priestess Katherine encouraging Compulsive Masturbation, basically showing I was mentally conditioned for this lifestyle. I stayed in contact with her until I was around 23, and became her youngest serious client. We had arranged an irl meetup for $600 a day 3 days of bliss, and saved up from my manual labor job in retail but deluded myself into believing I could serve her for my life if it went well, relocate to her state, etc. She basically popped the bubble and let me go and for the first time I “tried to quit.”
Needless to say, it didn’t work.
I have dated before several times. I’m actually quite blessed to be conventionally attractive to women in my age group, 6’3 ft, college graduate, but my entire sexuality has always been warped around both masturbation and especially Female Dominated relationships.
I didn’t really discover the goon state until 2020, during lockdown, when I first decided that I would edge without cumming for three hours straight. After about the first hour, I first felt the goon state and was honestly pretty shocked it was real. I was cumming at least 5x a day, moved out for the first time and lockdown immediately happened within 2 months so I jerked and smoked quarantine away.
I got in a serious relationship that started as a female led relationship, 24/7 dynamic, and flew her out. I tried to resist Porn but kept finding new perfect “gems.”
We lived together for months and I was never able to penetrate. Despite having many opportunities, between condoms making me lose my hard on and PIED, I have played with and been played with countless times, tied up women and been tied up alike, all kinds of fun, but never penetration. Even when I took things like Rhinos, (snake oil IMHO) I would end up just jerking off hard as soon as I was alone.
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I LOVE DOMINANT WOMEN AND GIRLS who humiliate, degrade me in front of their friends mercilessly.