A few years ago I finally had the opportunity to have sex. But because I had spent so much time as a frequent masturbator, when the time came I could not get an erection. Despite being desperately horny, I remained shamefully flaccid no matter what I tried. When I went home that night I laid in bed and my penis finally decided to spring to action. I masturbated twice, thinking of the encounter I had just had. I didn’t know it then but the humiliation of what had happened would fuel my lonely jack off fantasies for years to cum.
However I was in denial. I made up excuses in my head. “It was cold so that’s why I couldn’t get it up.” (The weather had never stopped me masturbating before) “It was the alcohol I had an hour ago.” (I barely had one and a half drinks) “It was because I already masturbated earlier.” (Long over twelve hours ago)
Surely my constant horniness and ability to ejaculate three or five times in a night meant I had the potential to become a sex god. I told myself next time the circumstances would be different. Next time I would get to fuck like a real man.
Next time came. Over half a year later I had another encounter. Everything was in place. It was comfortably warm. I was stone sober, and for the first time since high school I had gone twenty four hours without masturbating. And it was no different. No matter how angrily I pulled on my dick it would not last more than three seconds hard as soon as I took my hand off. Nothing the other person did would help. In their hands it remained pitifully soft and even shriveled back into myself. I went home ashamed and unsatisfied. Once again as I lied in bed that night my un-cooperative cock demanded my attention. I wrapped my hand around it and came within the minute and fell asleep. The next day I went online to find a solution to my problem.
That was when I read about death grip. I pledged that I would try to get laid again in a month and until then I would not masturbate. I managed to last a little over two whole weeks. Of course I was proud of myself. I decided I deserved a reward for reaching the half way point. I felt some porn an a light edging session (without cumming) would do the trick. Of course midway through I changed my mind. I had earned just one orgasm after two weeks of suffering. I stopped edging and started masturbating having one of the most powerful orgasms I can remember. An hour later I was horny again.
“I’ve already broken my streak,” I thought to myself “Surely one more wont hurt.”
So I masturbated again… and again…and again…and AGAIN. I blew out five loads. The next day I was as horny as ever and figured a second day of pleasure would be fine. As long as I didn’t masturbated any more after today I would be horny enough by the end of the month. I finally had my chance to have proper sex like a real man and here I was pulling it away. I went to sleep that night knowing that if I didn’t stop now I never would. But the third day I awoke and realised was no longer in control. My dick was making all the decisions now.
I couldn’t help myself. Or was it that I didn’t want to? Maybe deep down I knew I wasn’t deserving of sex, that the only person my dick could pleasure was myself. I masturbated. Over and over again. I felt so defeated I didn’t even bother getting more tissues when I ran out and resorted to shooting loads directly into my underwear as I had when I first started so many years ago.
I was hoping to at least return to my regular schedule of twice a day (Once when I wake up and once before bed). But my addiction was now worse than ever. I was squeezing in at least one extra, throughout the day as well. But now something was different. Interspersed with my porn and regular sex fantasies were mental images of being humiliated. I started looking up videos and stories of other chronic masturbators and found comfort that I was not alone. With each orgasm I could feel my ability to have meaningful sex being tugged away. And it only made me hornier. When the weekend arrived I fired off six loads. As I laid in bed playing with my still wet and aching cock working on number seven I finally accepted it.
I was and always would be, nothing more than a pathetic masturbator.
Source: #stories . https://discordapp.com/channels/555869449161408533/570593150943494145/661079325474422796