a masturbator said:
Sometimes I think “chronic male masturbators” aren’t sissies. Quite the opposite actually. Perhaps we have higher than normal sex drives.There is a double standard effecting men. Granted, women suffer more from double standards in general than men do. I am not challenging that. But, on this subject, if a woman masturbates she is hot! She is in touch with her sexuality. She is more desirable. A man though, well – he just can’t get laid. He’s weak. Something to be laughed at and ridiculed.
Growing up we men faced this catch 22. We can’t stop ourselves from doing what is completely natural yet feel completely ashamed for doing it. “I must be a pussy. Why can’t I stop this? My freinds don’t do this, why do I?” (later understood that our freinds were lying but the damage is done).
Over time we begin to believe it. It’s the only way to reconcile our feelings. “Weak men masturbate, I masturbate, I must be weak”. Then we reinforce our self forfilling phophecy to prove we are “right” by masturbating more. We start on this path years before we have sex. By the time we do have sex we are convinced (and horrified) at what pussies we “must” be.
I’m striking a nerve for a lot of men – aren’t I? I’ve been doing alot of thinking about this.
Funny thing is (if I may be so bold) – I’m fucking hot! Tan, muscular, great job and great personality. I have not only satisified one women at a time, I’ve done two at a time! On the outside I’m a stud. Inside I have this fear – I don’t always cum (maybe 1 out of 3) from a vagina. Most times I need to finish off with my hand. Then again how many women need assistance durring vaginal penitration? They touch themselves. They might use a toy when you fuck them. The might only cum durring oral. Oh wait – but that’s “hot”, right?
Women have taught themselves to orgasm using other than penises and we have embraced it where a man that needs a little more should be ashamed.
Isabel. It is definitly “not you”. =) You were “hot enough” or the man wouldn’t have gotten in bed with you. Try to understand that a man who can perfectly stimulate himself with a dry, frim grip is no different than whatever perfect way you have to bring youself to orgasm.
Okay, I ranted – and outside the context of this group. I apologize. I think I am coming to terms and tired of being ashamed of an act no less natural than taking a dump.