Physical vs Emotional Masturbation
Post by christee1980 » Wed Dec 04, 2024 12:50 pm
I’ve been generally more of a lurker than a contributor here, but I will sometimes have thoughts which come to mind and will share them. I have the belief that a lot of people will masturbate purely for the physical stimulation, perhaps with the aid of pornography, fantasies, toys etc. While others are driven to masturbation as an emotional reaction to something they are experiencing or thinking about experiencing. I’ve spoken with several people, a few on this site, who have shared that certain emotions will trigger their masturbation. Examples being nervousness, embarrassment, feelings of failure or inadequacy, fear and vulnerability.
My fascination has always been with emotional masturbation, as this is much deeper than just the physical pleasure. Our thoughts and emotions can be quite powerful, often having a direct connection to our genitals. I can remember speaking with someone who was intensely aroused by the thought of being embarrassingly spanked and punished. He would be masturbating as he was imagining others seeing this happen to him, fearfully anticipating how awful this would be, yet he was electrified with arousal because of the myriad of emotions he would experience. Fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment to name a few. His masturbation was a physical reaction to the emotional effect it had on him.
I’m curious how many here would consider themselves more of a physical or emotional masturbator?
Re: Physical vs Emotional Masturbation
Post by Wet Jane » Fri Dec 06, 2024 6:40 am
I would say that I am both a physical and an emotional masturbator. Sometimes I get strong urges and they make me throb and my clitoris just aches for relief. I am easily aroused and love to be in that state of mind. I am also an emotional masturbator as I can easily masturbate when I’m stressed, have an important deadline, or just a lot on my plate. Masturbating makes me feel better. I am also insatiable and have a high libido so with all of this combined, I am a dedicated masturbator. I like to be wet, I like when my pussy is swollen as it makes me feel so good I love all my sex toys, and I miss Receiving cock on a regular basis.
Re: Physical vs Emotional Masturbation
Post by GoonyGirl » Wed Jan 22, 2025 3:59 am
I’m an emotional masturbator. I sexualized my own trauma and neglect. I seek the approval of parental figures through sex and masturbation. I masturbate to self soothe. I eroticized fear, shame, embarrassment, humiliation and I seek those feelings because they make my pussy all warm and tingly and then I can masturbate.
I have been using masturbation as a coping mechanism since I was 10 years old, maybe younger. Sometimes 10 – 20 times a day until I was raw and sore and injured. I would get caught sometimes too.
I still do it as a way to process trauma and abuse and also as a way to regulate myself and dissociate. But now it is habitual and I cannot stop, I’m emotionally dependent.
Post by JOMaster » Fri Mar 21, 2025 10:31 am
I recall a joke made by a comedian (I can’t remember who, precisely) that how soon after 9-11 you masturbated was an indication of how bad a person you were. It’s amusing but misses the point that for most of us at some time, masturbating is a coping mechanism. It wouldn’t surprise me that many Americans soothed their shock and anxiety that night by bringing themselves off. [Yes, I did it that night: partly to alleviate my emotions, and mostly because it’s what I do every night.]
I too was born with a high sex drive, and throughout my life, masturbation has been the primary outlet for that energy. I have been, in Jane’s words, a ‘dedicated masturbator’ for as long as I can remember. Mostly I masturbate because I’m horny and want to feel good. It’s been noted by many sex researchers that small children often soothe themselves by touching their genitals. It’s not a sexualized act; it’s just something that makes them feel good. I’m sure I did that back then, as my earliest memories involve me masturbating–though at that age I had yet to eroticize what I was doing. (That would come a bit later, when I discovered magazines with pictures of nude women–oh. boy!)
But I have had many masturbation sessions that involved stress reduction. That oxytocin won’t release itself. I love orgasms. I love to masturbate. In fact, my high sex drive means that I need to masturbate regularly. Sometimes to cope with unfortunate emotions, other times because jacking off is my favorite thing to do.
by totaladdict » Fri Mar 28, 2025 8:09 pm
You’re very self aware. Good for you, that takes work. I am partly a gooner because of similar start to life–traumatic and neglectful at the same time. It was a safe place I could be somewhere, anywhere but inside my life or head, and not get distracted by other thoughts or desires. It took all my attention once I had begun. It wasn’t intentional it was instinctual, but after the pattern was in place it was impossible to kick once I noticed it taking hold. Many long nights warring with my religious upbringing and the need to masturbate, fantasize, or sneak looks at porn when I could safely get away with it–with the growing awareness that despite all my effort to kick the addiction, the addiction was still there and growing upon each relapse. The gaps between efforts to quit getting farther apart each time as the hedonism and dissociative balm worked upon my psyche. Over time the religious guilt melted away, my old thoughts and angst were put mostly to rest, but the pleasure of the experience still remains and the addiction still grows.
Now I love the addiction, being a secret pornosexual. It is a big part of my life and I thoroughly enjoy it all the time. I live a balanced life so I suffer nothing for my addiction.
Post by humiliationjunky » Fri Apr 11, 2025 3:30 am
I was in my twenties when Internet came around which really kicked off my masturbation. It quickly developed into overnight sessions. In the mornings I felt so bad and ashamed of myself. Everytime I vowed not to do it ever again. But then I realized I was getting off on those feelings. The worse it felt afterwards the more it aroused me. Obviously this did not reduce bating…
Then I wanted to urge more of “it”, those feelings. I did it even longer so that I begun to miss things in the morning like be late for work, miss classes, meetings, etc. My boss and colleagues were furious which just made me hornier. However, I stopped doing it because I felt I was taking advantage of them. They did not know what they were part of and had they known they’d have denied altogether for sure. I was the only one getting something out of it and they had to deal with it the consequences. I felt just selfish and could no more enjoy it.
But ever since I’ve been embracing that masturbation should entail ‘consequences’. It should have effect in your life. That is when it gets to the next level. So much more intense.
On example could be financial domination. I do know people who can’t get off unless they pay substantial amount of money. I totally understand this as there’s the consequence, the intensity. (I’ve tried it myself couple of times, but could not get work for me because those people have always been more interested in the money than the outcome, which is inducing addiction).
Another example could be, which many on this forum seem to endorse, social isolation. Masturbate to the idea that you loose your social contacts. There’s the cause and effect. Real life consequence makes it so much more intense.
But think about it even further. What if you learn to get your kicks from those negative feelings, shame, regret, embarrasment, etc.? Then you survival instinct becomes endangered…
Post by totaladdict » Sat Apr 12, 2025 10:36 pm
I like your train of thought.
Like you, I don’t allow my addiction to become known, pester, delay, diminish, damage, or afflict other people unless they are already in the know and an active enjoyer themselves. The idea is a neat fantasy, and I enjoy it often. But, in reality, just a meaningful description of my own addiction to the actual friends and family around me would be mind blowing. I do not think they’d think of me, or perhaps feel of me, the same after that. I don’t think they’d be afraid for or of me, nor worried I was descending into madness–they have known me too long as everything else I am to fall into that trap. The people I do know are only those who know every other aspect but the addiction extremely well. But it could not remain the same, whatever shape it took afterwards. This vigilance has benefits even though I get less porn/edging time: a stable job, a decent reputation, friends and family who aren’t unnecessarily concerned about me at all. A normal life. Prioritizing others both keeps my secret safe and my enjoyment of it from having any consequences or damage to others. It also keeps me employed and a decent enough mate if I ever came across the right sort of sexual partner (we’d have to know each other’s kinks up front, this I now understand).
I would not enjoy the idea of someone dear to me staying awake at night concerned and re-assessing their relationship with me.
That shame, regret, embarrassment–all very real things. They can be arousing, but only as long as they don’t shatter the perceptions of those around you, and possibly your own life outcomes and future opportunities. There is functional addiction when it comes to masturbation and such, and then there is self-destructive tendencies. One is a fun hobby when managed, in secret, the other is potentially world altering. One can be played upon and sexual pleasure released in controlled ways. The other way, the heedless hedonistic loop, can end up controlling far too many aspects of one’s life and leave lasting consequences. Staying on the safe and reasonable side is how people can enjoy the pastime until the very end. Many are with us here, enjoying their life-long pursuit into their 80s, and only the select few who were safe to know that part of them know. Everyone is safe in their life. Remarkable, and a credit to their character.
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