The Masturbator Pensées (Thoughts) is a collection of fragments written by chronic masturbators
My imagining is that I am on holiday somewhere nice and a slightly older gentleman makes friendly acquaintance with me. He notes that I am unpartnered and asks in a very nice and tactful way about my sex life. After a couple of drinks I confide to him that I am rather celibate and that I masturbate. One morning I am sunbathing wearing only swim briefs and the older gentleman makes approving comments about my Speedo type briefs which although socially acceptable, indeed fashionable, leave little to the imagination. I start having a partial erection which is evident in the form fitting material of the briefs. The nice older gentleman invites me to have lunch with him and suggests this be on the terrace of his apartment where I can go on sunbathing if I would like. The sun is hot. He offers to put sun tan oil on my back. The massaging touch of his slippery fingers on my bare skin causes my erection to increase. You will be more comfortable with these off he gently says as his fingers trace the outline of my swim briefs around my waist and his hand happens to brush lightly against the bulge in the front of my briefs. Shall I take your briefs off he asks. Lunch is forgotten and I am naked in his hands for several hours of the afternoon . . . .
It is such a pleasure to find OMF. I have been a masturbator ever since I was taken completely by surprise by my first ever erection. In a religious, sexuality denying family, then in a socially conventional lifestyle, my masturbating has mainly been secretive. I had no useful information or knowledge about masturbating until more liberal attitudes arrived in the United Kingdom. I was fortunate then that I was able to have some private help with my masturbating. I am very much hoping I can be fully open about my self stimulation pleasures in this Forum. I worry that some aspects of masturbation may cause offence to some people. I will welcome guidance on what is acceptable here. I am also hoping for some detailed 1:1 correspondence by private email.
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I was likewise taken with touching myself early. At eight, my first discovery of a discarded hardcore porn magazine by a river set me down a course that has lead to a life life-long pornography and edging addiction.
Like you, I was raised in a very religious, conservative setting. Farm life, even, with little access to pornography. Yet somehow, no later than eleven or twelve, I had a locked chest the length of my body filled with various things. About a third of it was on top, and consisted of items I used to hide the real treasure. Underneath, about four by one by two feet, the bottom two thirds was pornography. Any kind I could get my hands on. From Sears catalogs to magazine pages I got from others at school. Anything and everything. Eventually, I had to create remote stashes in the surrounding wilderness as my collection grew too large to house indoors. I chose far away places, which was easy to do as we were about a thirty-minute drive to the next nearest humans. The remoteness appealed to me for secrecy in case I was ever followed out by someone, they would get lost when I purposely covered my tracks and doubled back to make sure. The stash was so huge and the religious guilt so huge that my degree of operational security was already high by my mid teens. Out there, though, I could let loose verbally and get totally naked and public when I jerked off. The image that must have painted, if ever I was spied upon.
That old farm house had cedar shingles for siding, and I used to hide nude playing cards under them, just outside my window for easy access without needing to go through locks. Very secure and would never be detected unless I got caught red-handed with them. They are still there, decades later, after our family has moved far away. The same with the remote hidden stashes. Maybe someday I will retrieve them.