in another group, a masturbator wrote:
In my opinion, there are four ingredients necessary for a good edging:
The first ingredient is a sexually functioning subject who has a bit of a backbone and at least moderate control of his own orgasmic response. He doesn’t have to have Olympian “staying power,” but a slightly difficult nut to crack makes for the most satisfying and intense edging sessions. (Funnily enough, I am easier to make cum than I would prefer if I were working on myself, so a practiced, patient, slow hand is needed to edge me. Hint, hint.)
The second and third ingredients need to exist together, perhaps not in equal parts (one can be more prevalent than the other), but none-the-less present: the ability (God-given or practiced) and the desire to give pleasure. I have always been able to protract and intensify cock pleasure for my partners and subjects. But more than that, I genuinely enjoy giving pleasure. I get pleasure from giving pleasure. And, when I am truly simpatico with a subject (because of his body or his responsiveness or, not to get all new-agey but, his life force), I can physically feel the pleasure I am giving. And I know for a fact that the more intently a controller wishes to work his subject, the more intensely the subject will feel it.
The final ingredient for superlative edging is a small streak of the sadist. Not so much that you wish to see a subject endure prolonged discomfort or distress (at least not without the counter-balancing pleasure), but enough that you can take pleasure in holding a man’s relief out of his reach well beyond his perceived limits. And that concept of “perceived limits” is really crucial. Because it is only when a subject reaches that place where he wants to cum more than he wants continued stimulation, does the true edging begin. Yup, you heard me. That’s where edging begins.
So, it can be correctly inferred that my concept of true edging must include taking a man beyond where he thinks he can endure to a place where his pre-conceptions are wiped away. And for that, you must have a streak of the sadist or else your tender heart will give in to your subject’s limiting beliefs and you will let him cum before he experiences new heights of cock bliss. I suppose, if you harbored slightly stronger sadistic tendencies, you could still get a subject to this point andbeyond it, but in my definition of edging, the real torture does not come from the controller, but from the subject as he wars within himself, continually choosing to sublimate his ever-growing desire to lay down his heavy load for the promise of ever greater heights of sensual pleasure.