The phone started ringing as Dan was washing the dishes. He wiped his hands on his jeans and walked to the phone on the wall.
“Hello?”
“Hi! This is Penny from your credit card fraud department calling. Is this Dan?”
“Oh, yes, is something wrong?”
“Let’s hope not!” Penny let out a giggle that made Dan’s member twitch in his pants. Hearing this young bubbly voice made him start imagining how gorgeous this girl must look.
“Now let’s see here…now Dan did you purchase 3 boxes of Magnum XXL condoms from Phil’s Market on 2nd Ave?”
Dan blushed and his penis went from twitching to rock hard. Not only was it enticing to hear this girl discuss condoms, but Dan now had to admit he wasn’t someone who buys condoms let alone XXL size.
“Oh, uh…no that wasn’t me.”
“We thought so! We will handle the dispute sir.”
“Umm Penny? How did you know it wasn’t my purchase? A box of condoms isn’t a big expense and that market is a block from my apartment.”
“Well first off we take your security very seriously sir! You are assigned your personal security consultant that learns all about you from your credit card purchases and tries to build your profile. Anything outside the norm gets investigated and a masturbator such as yourself buying condoms is a BIG discrepancy!”
Dan almost fainted at the words coming from his phone. He sat down at the kitchen table and had to reach down and squeeze his rock hard penis.
“Did you say…”
“That you’re a masturbator Dan? I know you. I have built a profile for you and I know you better than your own mother! Haha! Would you like to hear your profile Dan?”
Dan could barely let out a yes as his breath deepened and his hand started undoing his pants.
“Well Dan, a lot of guys buy premium porn accounts. But you don’t just go for a regular PornHub site do you? You subscribe to a lot of Goddess this and Mistress that. You spend so much money on custom videos from these women and at such a high rate! You must need new material on a monthly basis! Tell me you do Dan.”
“I…I do.” Dan muttered as he stroked his penis that was dripping with precum. He had to let go completely a few times before he came too soon.
“I thought so. Now let’s talk about supplies. For being such a chronic masturbator I would think you would buy lube by the barrel! But lotion Dan? Never upgraded from the brand you snuck from the bathroom to use under your blankets as a teenager? I guess even masturbators have nostalgia!”
Dan pictured the box of tissues and lotion bottle placed proudly on his nightstand. He once again had to let his penis go or blow too early.
“You mind must be so clouded with horniness that you never consider that the girl at your local pharmacy scans 3 family sized lotion bottles and 6 XL box of tissues every week. She must be in awe at how much a man can pleasure himself! Day after day of self stimulation. Simply amazing.”
Penny was not being subtle anymore. Dan could hear in her voice that she knew Dan was masturbating and wanted him to blow his load for her.
“It’s ok Dan. Keep going. I know you are living a sexless life. Your hand is your only comfort and has been for years. So much masturbation, you must be a pro! I wonder if you could even have sex. Like would your penis be able to get up for a real woman? I mean women are nice but can they grip your little penis as tightly as your hand can? Or beat it as fast as you? No. Only you can make you cum. Say it Dan”
“Yes! Only I can! Only me!”
“Now say you’re a pathetic masturbator or I will disconnect and you can blow your load alone like you always do.”
“I’m a pathetic masturbator Penny! I masturbate so much! So much…masturbator…mastur…!!”
Dan moaned and shook as rope after rope of cum shot out onto his kitchen floor. His legs tried to spread but were caught in his pants around his ankles. Dan slumped into his chair and caught his breath.
“Glad I could help Dan. We’ll take care of your dispute and you can get back to cleaning your seed off of you. Happy wanking!”
With that Penny disconnected and Dan sat there sweaty, out of breath, and cum all over his fist. She was right, nothing out of the ordinary with this sight.
Source: (26) Customer Satisfaction – Onania Masturbator Forum