a masturbator wrote: 

when did you know you were pathetic?

okay, i know it’s not quite the same thing and it’s not really necessarily (it could be, just not necessarily) about masturbation – but it is re “pathetic,” so i hope it is okay…i originally phrased it as “when did you know you were a bottom feeder” but I think “pathetic: is better

when i was a slut, to put it simply (as opposed to retired slut, as i am now), i knew it when i was in a booth with a guy, sucking him, and he was fat enough that he had to hold up his rolls of fat for me to suck fully, or effectively much at all; his cock was nothing special, a bit on the thick side IIRC but on the shorter side a bit; he smelled a bit, whether due to simply being a hot morning or hygiene, hard to say,but at least it wasn’t bad, just noticeable is all; he was no looker, not to suggest he was ugly, well…..not disgusting or anything, anyway, one might say ugly, a bit, not to be judgmental myself but as society goes.

but really he was just THERE

and i was happily and greedily sucking him and loving it and realized how much i loved doing it, that my happiness derived from serving this cock, him, nothign else mattered, and that’s when i really realized i was a slut, and, really, though i didn’t think the word itself, pathetic

———-

Good question. I began feeling pathetic during high school when I would date girls but never get inside their panties like my friends were doing. But I thought that someday I would become the successful pussyfucker I aspired to, if I could meet the right girl. Eventually I succeeded and had a number of years of moderately successful copulation. I never considered myself “pathetic” during my pussyfucking period.

But then I became addicted to edging, and gradually lost the ability to penetrate and maintain an erection. Finally we just gave up trying, and now I am functionally impotent (for pussy). I truly feel pathetic, and it makes me masturbate even more in the Shame/Addiction Cycle.

———————–

i’ realize that i’m realy pathetic. thinking about masturbation all the time and as soon as i’m alone pull my pants down and stroke constantly.masturbation is my main activity in my loser’s life,always dopey and tired out from the many orgasms.i was told i even look like a masturbator,when oogling the lady with a stare and a slack jaw , left hand stroking trough the hole in my pocket.realy pathetic. ladies can sense when they are talking to me, i know. segaiolo

 

———-

 

I realized I was pathetic years ago on my knees at a Missouri truck stop in the middle of the night. It was a night like you’d read about in gay porn magazines. I had been at that truck stop cruising men for hours (as was my usual on a weekday) and that night I was very lucky. I sucked off 7 nameless, anonymous men over the course of 5 hours of cruising (all the while edging my cock). Some were through the gloryhole, and some came into my stall with me. One was in the back of his big rig.
As I was on my knees sucking off #7, I started to cum uncontrollably all over the floor. It was one of the best orgasms of my young life and I realized at that moment, with clarity, that I was the kind of pathetic, slutty gay man people talked and laughed about. I LOVED that 7 men I didn’t know had used me for their penis pleasure and then left without even a nod of thanks. I knew I was a pervert, a sexual deviant, and I would always be pathetic. I hadn’t realized I was a true masturbator yet, but I knew I was pathetic.

———-
—————-

i had a lot of clues – from the first time i ever talked about sexual fantasies with another guy (we were in a group shower late at night at summer camp, talking about a girl we both liked; he talked about wanting to fuck her in the swimming pool, while i talked about wanting to wear her swimsuit), to the very first time i masturbated, in my freshman year of high school (i thought about two unpopular girls i thought were sexually-arousing, if not the most attractive, both wearing skintight pink footie pajamas with bunny-eared hoods and flaps buttoned up over their bottoms)…

…but what really made me realize i was a pathetic masturbator was when the girl of my dreams (a tomboy who was taller than me at the time) found out from someone else that i was in love with her, and rejected me because she had heard from other guys that i had been caught jerking off in the boys’ locker room with a pair of panties i’d stolen. She told me she’d never want to be with a guy who did something like that.

i tried to claim it was just a rumor, but i’m a bad liar. i lost her forever because of my masturbation habit and panty-fetish. If she had found out about how small my penis was, it probably wouldn’t have helped.

—————

When I moved out of my parents place and into a shared house. It was obvious everyone else around my age liked to spend their weekend partying, clubbing, socializing and having casual sex with others.
My idea of a great weekend was going to the porn shop to buy some new mags( no internet back then) and spending the rest of the weekend masturbating to them.
That’s when I realized I was different from everyone else I knew.

—————–

Probably around the same age as baz, but with a slightly different mindset: I was wishing I could go out and get laid. I was listening to the couple in the next apartment fucking their brains out. I wanted a woman so bad it hurt. REALLY hurt. But I was cumming to understand that for me there was only one option: to fuck my hand. To dive deep into the intense physical pleasure of masturbation. Then I got addicted to it.

A few years later I did figure out how to get real pussy, and then I got married, but I never got over the emotions that come from those years of being the denied masturbator, and the intense physical pleasure that cums with it. Nearly 40 years later those intense emotions still fuel my masturbation.

———————-

rocketman, that fascinates me: unlike you, as a young man I was taking every opportunity to try to go out and get laid. I took all of the rejection and humiliation that came with it, and then went home, faced with the positive proof that I was unfuckable, and fucked my hand until it hurt.

How strange the human brain is, that denial and humiliation could then become a sexual turn-on. The knoiwledge that no one will fuck me causing me to get rock hard and cum in my own hand.

Even more bizarre, I’ve been married now for years but I still get off on those fantasies of rejection.

—————–

I knew I was pathetic when I realized that my masturbation addiction had taken away all my friends. I’ve always been a heavy jacker, but when I got my own place after college and got really into edging and internet porn I stopped going out. My friends would call at first but I never picked up. Eventually they stopped calling. When I realized I had no social life I knew I was a pathetic loser jerk off for life.

That was a decade ago and the addiction grows stronger
————————

Hi
About the same time with me. I was in my early 20’s and moved into a bedsit with my first boyfriend.
We had different days off during the week so only really saw each other in the evenings and on Sundays, and I would spend my whole day off, while he was at work, masturbating. I also used to masturbate frequently even when we were together. He didn’t care, infact I think he actually liked having a wanker for a boyfriend, so it was a good arrangement.

We split up after about 10 years together and I discovered places to go where I could be naked, which I also was really into, and my masturbation habit just carried on.
———————-

i most be the most sick and pathetic person. first spending all my teens masturbating watching my mom, then i chose to get married with an oversexed ” party girl ” she couldn’t get pregnant due to complication at the birth of a boy, father unknown. ] her busy sex life stimulated my daily sessions to no end.the more friends she had the more i masturbated. i was a known submissive husband for almost 30 years only good at paying the bills.my wife took my mom place as my masturbation godess. many times she showed me her cunt soon after having sex with one of her friends [ look but no touch ]to stimulate her pathetic, wimpy, husband to more solo sex.when angry at me [ maybe disappointed by one of her lovers] she use to call me disgusting, creep and ,at times, slap my face hard. strangely such actions use to increase my libido to hours,[ back in my room ] of furious wanking. i still miss her andthinking about her trigger some of my daily orgasms. segaiolo
—————————

First time I actually knew I’m a pathetic masturbator was in school, age 13, when my female classmate Hilda, 14 and already fucking a lot… saw my big bulge in my pants and asked me to fuck her. I relied I couldnt cause I only masturbate. So Hilda started masturbating me… even in class sometimes… and finally said ”Henry, as I can get you hard, let me ”pussy-masturbate” you. I can get hard for women but dont want to fuck them… but, like Hilda, they can climb on top of my cock and ”masturbate me” with the pussy.

That time, so many many years ago, Hilda, on top of me and between orgasm and orgasm… said ”Henry… you are a ”pathetic masturbator”… but I love masturbating your big thick cock with my pussy… you give me so awesome orgasms, Henry”

Later in my life… many more women ”pussy-masturbated” me…

 

——————————

I’ve known I had an issue with masturbation since I was a kid. I did start dating my senior year in high school, dated the same girl through college, and married her afterwards. My masturbation got me through the long years while my fiance and I were at separate colleges, so I didn’t think my problem was that big of a deal. After we were married, she wasn’t into having sex very often. She caught me looking at porn a few times and didn’t like that either. I told her I’ve got to have relief. I ended up sneaking around with porn and masturbation for years. She later bacame sick and passed away years back. We had a good marriage except for the sex.

A few years after that, I met my current wife. She’s the polar opposite of my first wife. She loves sex and wants to do it all the time. She had an active and varied sex life before and after her first marriage, being very active during the ten years she was divorced prior to meeting me. We had sex often before we were married, but it slowed down a lot afterwards. I couldn’t get the images out of my head of some of the sexual stories she would tell me from her past. I often felt the need to masturbate while looking at porn online and thinking about how slutty she used to be. I started getting online a couple of times a week to stroke after she went to bed. Eventually, it turned into everynight for hours on end. Somewhere down the line, I lost all desire to fuck. When it comes to my highly sexed wife, only the idea of her fucking others, either while I watch and stroke or she simply tells me about it later, turns me on. I now edge for hours every night before finally cumming, thinking about the wife, porn, etc. It was at this point that I truly realized just how pathetic I really am. I could have pussy just about every night of the week, but I choose to send her to bed alone every night.

I have admitted my desires for her to meet and fuck other men. She didn’t really get mad at me. Instead, she told me she wants our sex life to be great before she could ever consider that kind of lifestyle. I just cannot seem to stop masturbating, however, to try and fuck her again. I just don’t have the desire at all anymore. I only want to edge and masturbate constantly. I guess secretely I hope she’ll change her mind at some point and start stepping out for some good hard fucking. Right now, she complains from time to time that we never have sex and sometimes masturbates herself to relieve her tensions. I realize that I want her to change her lifestyle in order to fuel my masturbation addiction, but I can’t help myself. In my fevered, masturbation mind, I have to believe she would truly enjoy sleeping around like she used to once she got back into it, especially knowing she could come home and have her husband waiting for her.

The reality of my life is that edging and masturbation has become the most important things in my life. I can’t wait to get home from work, get the family squared away, and get the wife to bed so I can get online. Everything else in my life has become a distraction from my true desire.

———————

My wife is nymphomanic and fuck-addicted since ever. She started fucking at age 12 and after I met her at her age 15 at an awesome gangbang evening, she fucking with 3 guys at the same time, we agreed, when we fell in love, that she could fuck as much as she wanted and needed and I, pathetically masturbating for them when fucking.
1982 my wife found the dream fucker of her life, a small, tiny, slim black guy… but equipped with incredible 10 inches and an all-time fucker, never tired of fucking my wife. Finally my wife gor actually, legally married to him at the neighbour contry… so we arent divorced… she actually has 2 husbands living with her at the same home and sleeping in one huge bed… me, masturbating for her… and Diego fucking her at least 3 times everyday. And I, pathetically masturbating for them