a masturbator wrote:
THE LIFE OF A HOPELESSLY ADDICTED MASTURBATOR
I am a dedicated, compulsive, habitual masturbator. I have been for over 60 years and from the moment I first discovered the excitement and pleasure that I could generate in my penis my sexual parts, and for that matter throughout my entire body and psyche, I have preferred it to all other forms of sexual activity.
Before going on to further describe my love of masturbation let me first reflect upon the word itself……masturbation, masturbate, masturbator. All are magic words to me and just saying them to myself or using them as I write excites me. I love the words because they are not slangy as is the case with wanking or jerking off. No they are serious unambiguous references to the act of taking your sexual parts into your own hands and manipulating them to produce life’s most pleasurable feelings and ultimately to ejaculate. So I will use these words as much as possible when speaking of my attitude towards masturbating.
Like all young boys, when I first realized my penis was something that could excite and make me feel good I began to play with it. I didn’t realize that masturbation was a universally engaged in act and like most I felt it was somehow shameful. In the privacy of my room I would take off my clothes and lie on my back on the floor in front of a full length mirror and spread my legs wide apart to expose myself. I would masturbate by running my hands all over my groin area from rectum to testicles to penis and then back again. I would marvel at how stiff and hard my penis would get but for several years I did this without realizing that if I masturbated the tip of my penis I could induce an ejaculation. Also at this early stage of my masturbatory life I enjoyed taking old pairs of underpants and cutting holes in them so that my genitals would poke through or nothing was left but the edge banding that formed a sort of web of bondage around my testicles and crotch and this made me feel very sexy.
Eventually, as I experimented with different positions and locations in which to masturbate I found myself, one warm summer night, on the roof of my parents’ house. It was especially arousing to be out of doors, in a somewhat dangerous spot where a passerby might have seen me. As I became more aroused I sidled up to a brick chimney and started to press my erection against the rough surface of the masonry. I was humping against the chimney and I also reached in with my hand and started simultaneously to squeeze the tip of my penis harder and harder and felt the pleasure increasing more and more until the inevitable happened and my penis erupted in a strong ejaculation, the very first I had ever experienced as a climax to my masturbation. Wow!, what a feeling and from that day forward there has hardly been a day in my life when I have not repeated this experience of ejaculating. It is as much a part of my day as eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom.
As a masturbator I have been exploratory and experimental over the course of my life, always trying to think of new and different ways to arouse myself and intensify the masturbatory experience. I have tried anything barring only that which seemed to have the possibility of injuring me. I have thrust my penis into all sorts of tubes and containers. I have applied heat and cold to my genitals. I have slathered myself with anything messy or gooey that might make me feel more sexy. I have mixed urination with masturbation, masturbating myself as I have wet my pants or pissed on myself. I have masturbated wearing womens’ panties and ejaculated into them. I have masturbated indoors and outdoors, at the office or at home, in public bathrooms and even while driving on the interstate. (only once and not recommended as I realized how dangerous it is to be cumming while also trying to concentrate on the road.)
Over the years the world has become a much more accommodating place for the masturbator. At first there was only Playboy magazine which seemed to not want to show us a cunt. Then the sex magazines proliferated showing us splayed open female genitals and depicting all sorts of sex acts. Now of course we have the internet with almost anything sexual that one could imagine and all of these developments have been great assists to my life long masturbatory experience. I love pornography and am an avid consumer of it, all in the service of my never ending search for that erotic stimulus that will add a slightly more intense feeling of arousal as I enjoy my masturbation. I have favorite pornographic images, especially small figured women with tiny breasts and very hairy cunts. I also love certain dominant/submissive images, ones with women having their cunts fingered by men with big erections and men being made to cum by women. But as much as anything else I love erotic photographs of men and women masturbating. I feel empathy for the subjects of such images as they assume classic masturbation stances and you can see that look in their faces and sense the tension in their bodies as they masturbate towards ejaculation and orgasm. I am also grateful to websites such as this one where I can see some of these images and read the stories of masturbators longing as is the case myself, to tell their stories and share their joy of masturbation with a world of sympathetic readers.
And here is one of the keys to why I write this little description of my life as a masturbator. To this day I get deep pleasure from lying on the floor or my bed as I did when I was 12 years old, spreading my legs before a mirror and slowly but surely bringing myself to hard erection, fantasizing about some sexual situation or looking at some pornographic image and then savoring the prolonged pleasure of arousal, stimulation and ejaculation. I have done this countless times in the privacy of my own place but almost always it has been a private solitary act. I have been doing this through a marriage as well as when I was single and I have never had another person with whom I could share my masturbation experience, a person who would be as invested in masturbation as I am and would be a sympathetic masturbating companion. In fact my most powerful fantasy as I masturbate is to have another person, preferably a woman watch me and talk encouragingly and soothingly to me as I masturbate. I have this longing to expose myself to such a person and have them enjoy watching me masturbate as much as I am enjoying it myself. So the next best thing is to write about it in this forum and, as has been the case in other forums, photograph myself as I masturbate and post the descriptions thereby exposing myself virtually.
So I hope that anyone who has read this, enjoys knowing a bit about why I have participated and that they have derived as much pleasure in their lives as I have in mine from being a masturbator.
I am a chronic, addicted SOLO masturbator….I am a jackaddict, and I love to get off to the WORDS others write as they describe their own deepest erotic thoughts of fucking their cocks with their wanky, pervy brains. When I masturbate myself, I, too, as Tom W. described, feel a surge of jackheat when I think of how I will respond to this NEED to spurt my seed. Over the last year, I have jacked myself practically every day….
I only hold off from masturbating myself when I want to get a buildup of my gooning reaction to porn….GOTTA have the porn…..ahfkkkmeeeee…..I SO love to watch the jill faces of real “O” SOLO !!! I “discovered” my perineum about eight months ago, and now I have found a technique that allows me to experience the “slow burn” that I think women feel in their gooshy, drooly pussies as they masturbate themselves, and I SO identify with what they must feel, because they “build” to their masturbation so much slower than we guy SOLO’s do in our stiff, rampant shaanks.Tom W, I know there are guys like us that LOVE prickplayin’ watching jill SOLO and LOVE watching that NEEDY cunt get finger-fucked,dildo- jammmed and vibed….ooooh….the sound of a vibe on clitty.!!! The “O Faces” so porny and pervy….yessss!!
Jilling done right requires as much pussy practice as guys who play with themselves; “learning” the clit, tits, and cunt is an adventure in slutty self-sex lust. I look at a well-played-with cunt and I think, “Ahfffkyess….a female addicted …like ME, to her SOLO, and my “muse” is amused !! Are you thinkin’ that, too, Tom W ?
I like to use my “perineum push” technique when I watch and wank to SOLO jill porn. It mimics my muse….my feminine muse, who is also “with” the jill I’m jacking to. The MIND of the pussy-player on screen is PENETRATED with the thought of guys jacking to HER….she is gettin’ of to guys gettin’ off….to her….ahhffkkkkmeee….this is a great time to be a jackaddict !!! FREAKIN’ to get guys off….hotwetpussysex!!! masturbate, masturbate, masturbate, masturbate, masturbate, masturbate!!!
The “perineum push” is SO OFF the HOOK !!! This is what it does: it GOONS you to the maxxx; eyes roll back, uncontrollable body twitch, groans and moans, you can hardly even keep your eyes open, let alone focused on the jill scene on the screen. What an INTENSE cock-rush !!! How it’s done: build your hard with very light feathery caresses. Best prep for this first stage is “dickdust”, better known as corn starch. It makes the dickskin SO dry and wanting to be light-stroked!! mmmmmfkkkkyaaa….love this first stage!!!
When you get stiff-shaft hard, STOP and grab your beatbone at the base with your non-dom hand or lightly hold the entire lenth of your shank…kinda tickle the frenulum a little here, too, THEN reach below your balls with the other hand, and PUSH on the perinreum with your fuck finger, and TRY to Make yourself CUM….that’s it, that’s ALL…… HOLD it, use your kegels to push the “O” feelings UP your reddening, stiffening rod. Get the pearly precum to leak out, make the FIRST bead of PRE !!! That’s faaackn HOT….visually and erotically. The swelling of the dick is so hot to watch….GOON on IT !!! GOON as long as you can stand it, fist fucker….we’re ADDICTED to this….let it BOIL that bubbly, slithery, stick-slick precum….mmmmmmmmfkkkkmeee!!! THUMB that cock cap with your pearly pre…..jacklube…… fkkkkyaaaaa!!! HOLD that “dry CUMMM”…..one minute…..two minutes…..three minutes…….fkkkkyaaa….DO IT !!! SO SOLOSEXUAL !!!
See how many “rounds” of this “BEYOND EDGING” your hot cockmeat can take. Build up to hardstrokin’,get faster as the masturbation session progresses, see if you can go one hour on this. You’ll become addicted to this “Dry O” FEELING in your dick….I’m SO addicted to it now, that I find myself longing to be able to get back to some of my other favorite techniques.
Gonna describe another one here. But first I wanna say something. I’m not into self-shaming on this masturbation thing…but if that what flips yer switches, go for it…just not me, is all.
Anyway, next thing is not so much about a technique as it is sorta an observation. Have you ever been edging, and just let your hand “do it’s own thing?” I know how to get that to be an interesting masturbation session, where your hand and your cock are “at play” and your mind is focused “outside” sorta “watching” you play with yourself. I mentioned it in my first post, but I think a little more detail is in order here. It’s kinda tricky, but here’s how. You teach your non-dom hand to pleasure yourself. Takes a while, but it’s kinda fun to get to know your cock with your non-dom hand. Took me about six weeks, maybe beating myself off every other day. Anyway, once you think you’re ok with it, get out a legal pad, and start writing sex fantasies as you masturbate yourself. Or write anything your pervy mind jizzes up. And let your hand “do” your cock. You’d be surprised at how LONG you can masturbate yourself this way. Two hour masturbation sessions are common with me. Try not to use porn at first on this, you’ll be too distracted. It’s real kinky to know your hand and your cock are playing together without your intense focus on what’s going on down there. You go waaaay beyond the PONR on this….many times….your brain just doesn’t KNOW you’ve gone there….get it? During the session you “come out of it” for a few seconds, you focus on how your cock is feeling, and it’s like WOW….I’m gonna cummmmm….but you “go back” and it’s like you can keep on strokin’ …for another twenty minutes, an hour or longer….fascinating, huh?
Gotta say, Tom W, your post was superb! It was like a wanky brain fuck for me to read that, and I’m now gonna get off on it. Just wanted to thank you for some fine masturbation prose, there. Feels like we’re kinda gettin’ off together, yes? Anyway…stay tuned; you never know what my “muse” will have in mind….s/he is a still gettin’ me off….in new and different ways….just never know.
Thanks again, and thanks to Onania for providing this frank and freaky forum.
masturbate, masturbate, masturbate, masturbate, masturbate, masturbate !!!
Lick it!!
I long ago surrendered to the addiction. I don’t care anymore. I have to masturbate. God how I need it! It fills my life; it gives me a deep down satisfaction that I can constantly renew, just by pulling my zipper down. I’m over 60 too. Funny how you reach a point in your maturity where masturbating is no longer a dirty little secret, it’s a natural activity. I long ago surrendered to the addiction. I have to masturbate. God how I need it! It fills my life; it gives me a deep down satisfaction that I can constantly renew, just by pulling my zipper down.
“A masturbator” was right about the power of the words. I use the power, I key off the word ‘masturbate’. I can quietly say the word … “masturbate” … and feel my cock stir in my crotch. I always want to do it, so there is never a question. I will immediately slide my hand up to my nipples and pinch them, starting the whole foreplay process of making love to myself. The wonderful little twinges of sweet sexual pleasure/pain tell me “yes, it’s going to happen. I am going to masturbate! It’s gonna feel so good!”
Then I will say it to myself – out loud: “I am going to *masturbate*!” My nipples are deliciously aching as I pinch them, feeling so good; my cock is starting to thicken and stiffen up. Yes! Now I know; there is no more waiting. I need it, I need it, I need it!
Now comes that fun time when I decide how I am going to masturbate. Will I just unzip and jack off quickly? I pull my pants down and sit at the computer and watch porn until I am so hard I can’t stand it? I love watching all those wonderful women masturbate their pussies and cum so erotically! Should I take my butt plug out of its drawer and sit down on it? Take off my pants and underwear entirely and squirm my butt over it until my ass is full?
I’ll glance at the clock and see — is there is enough time before my wife gets home to get naked, lay on the bed and do the long, full masturbatory session? Can I lay there and tease my cock for an hour, edging and building up my pleasure? Plug in the home vibrator and take myself just up to that second of almost cumming? Do it three or four times? Oh God, my nipples are so sensitive now and their pleasure has made my cock jerk and throb as I get my erection.
Whatever, no matter what methods I choose my penis is alive and in my hand. My wonderful penis! It aches! It’s hungry for my loving touch. There are so many ways to give it pleasure. I can delicately rub the tip of it, teasing it and coaxing the precum to start. I can grip it fully, fuck my hand as stroke, milking out the precum in long drooling dribbles don my shaft. In a minute I could get out the Fleshlight, lube it and fuck the sweet pussy of my imaginary phantom whore ….
Ohhhh! I’m masturbating now! Jacking jacking jacking! Sweet, so sweet. It’s time to goon, to make my noises and to urge myself on. “Yes!” I cry. “I’m *masturbating*!!”
“Fuck Yes! I’m masturbating!!!” I’ll get quieter and copy Richard Lovell’s wonderful chants: “Masturbate … masturbate … masturbate! Masturbate my peeenisssss, masturbate my penis! Masturbate masturbate masssssturrrrbaaaaaate!”
“Masturbate my fucking cockkk!” I’m talking now to my fantasy masturbation partner, my masturbation “muse” as SOLOSEXUAL calls her – or him. My god my penis is so alive, so … sensitive so long and hard and full of pleasure as I touch myself. I love this part of climbing toward the peak of my orgasm. Sometimes I try to get in rhythm with the masturbating girl on the screen, sometimes I just call out instructions to my “muse”.
“Masturbate me! Masturbate me! Masturbate my fuckin’ cock!” and just chant the words over and over. “masturbate me, masturbateme, masturbatememasturbateme masturbatemeeeee! Masturbate! Masturbate, Masturbatemeeeee”.
I can go on for a long time,. If I am naked and edging or just sitting at the computer and stroking. But eventually I feel it. That indescribable feeling we both know, you and I. You know that rush, that aching pressure; that sweet sweet urgent need that takes over and floods your penis with incredible pleasure. “I’m gonna cum.” I tell myself.
And then louder as I tell my masturbation muse. “I’M GONNA CUM!” Sometimes I begin pleading with her: “Make me cum! … Make me cum! Ohhhhh godddd, make me CUMMM!”
“I wanna cum, I wanna cum I wanna cum” — as always, “cum” is the only hotter word than “masturbate”.
“Masturbate me, masturbate me masturbate me. Make me cum make me cum make me cum” I plead with her. “I HAVE to CUM now!”
“masturbate me.” I whimper.
Then I am crying out, loudly. “MASTURBATE me! Maaaasssssturbaate meeee! MAASSSTURBATE MEEEEE!” and she’s doing it, jacking and stroking my throbbing penis! I can’t stand how good it feels!
It’s happening! My penis is jerking in amazing rhythmic pulses! I am so hard. So STIFF!
“I’m cumming!” I tell her. “I’M CUMMING!!!!
Now I am totally gooning, blurting out sounds. “Unnnnggg!” And “ohhhhhhhh!” And “mmmm. Mmmmm, mmmmmmmmm! Oh oh ohhhhhhh!”
It’s spurting! My wonderful sweet penis is squirting out my cum! Spurt after spurt as I go rigid and lift my ass up and orgasm!
Spurt! Spurt! Sqquirrrttt!
The pearly white goo shoots everywhere! I don’t care! I love it! I love it, I love it I love it!
And then little spurts come spitting out of the tip of my wonderful dick. Spurt spurt spurtspurtspurt. The hot wet stuff just dribbles and oozes out of my cock and over my fingers.. My cock is pulsing and pumping and jerking in my loving hand. I am in heaven!
There I am, savoring this most wonderful moment, feeling my cock – indescribably good – pulse. My ass is clenched around whatever is inside it. My other hand is kneading and petting my ‘titties’, pinching my nipples, tugging them.
“Awww,” I moan. “awwwwwww!”
There is the moment of peace. You know this moment. I am fulfilled. I am completed. The proof is dripping from my throbbing cock, dripping down on my thigh. I realize I have been holding my breath, but I can breath again now.
I pet and caress my wonderfully satiated penis. I love how it feels now as it slowly deflates.
I begin to wonder, “Should I try to cum again?” or is this enough? It’s is NEVER enough, true, but it might be enough for right now.
I’ve masturbated. I love it. I’m addicted.
I am another dedicated, compulsive, habitual masturbator and I understand the attraction for the WORDS “masturbation, masturbate, masturbator….and another, “masturbatrix.” I spent many years repressing my need for sexual release after a lengthy (by today’s standards, anyway) marriage, and was masturbating myself only once or twice a month. But I wasn’t very happy, and my anger issues would cause me to lose control of my temper on occasion.
As I mentioned, I was once married, and the issues that came from it are complicated, but I can say I was never lacking in the art of bringing my wife to orgasm. Knowledge of the woman’s needs are paramount in coupling, and I learned to skillfully manage her arousal and could usually manage to allow our orgasms to coincide. How I became a compulsive masturbator is difficult to explain in a few sentences. I would much rather indulge my need to express to others my SOLOSEXUAL experiences and techniques.
I am over 60 years old, tall , slim and have been told I am still quite attractive. During the years of my life when a female was not available, I would masturbate myself as many as five times a day, sometimes binge’ing for weekends, giving myself as many orgasms as I could pull off. I have always been this way, even in childhood. As a boy, I had access to soft core porn, and would find places to indulge my need for masturbation in those places: attics, abandoned homes, in the woods nearby….anywhere I could find. I developed a repertoire of stimulation and masturbation techniques, and incorporated “challenges”, games and routines into my masturbation life. Even during the years when I was attempting abstinence to masturbation and porn, I still compulsively fantasized about masturbation. I longed for release, but denied it to myself, which made me a “prick” in public. Simply put, if I can indulge my prick in private, I’m not a prick in public.
I find the writer’s fascination with the WORDS “masturbation, masturbate, masturbator” is quite similar to my own. How this developed may be of interest. During my years of attempted masturbation abstinence, I found myself writing letters to my absent wife, often trying with WORDS to accomplish what I was able to achieve with her in bed. The backstory with this is I had always previously found masturbation sessions would last, at most, fifteen minutes or so. Also, everything I knew about masturbation was self-taught. One night, as I was laying naked, writing a “nasty note” to my wife, It dawned on me that I had been fondling myself as I wrote. And pre-cum was drenching my skivvies….and I had been stiff and writing for more than two hours ! Breakthrough ! The ejaculation I then gave myself was one of the most intense results I’d had in my life as a SOLO masturbator.
Without going into many details here, I went through a period, after our divorce, where I resisted the use of porn , but increased my need for masturbation. My only erotic stimulation was entirely self-induced thoughts, which I wrote down with my dominant hand, as I masturbated myself with my non-dominant hand. My first attempts were quite awful, both the writing and the masturbating, but perserverence paid off, and eventually, I became addicted to my “Stroke/Note” masturbation technique. My words became my stimulus for my brain, my cock, and my EYES. Just WRITING the word “masturbate, masturbation, masturbator….and masturbatrix” as I played out , and wrote out, my sexual fantasies, became an incredibly addicting and arousing pattern to my SOLOSEXUAL masturbation lifestyle.
Eventually, the fantasies of sexual interactions, the variations involving others, narrowed down to simply writing about WHAT MY BODY WAS EXPERIENCING AND DOING TO ITSELF as I masturbated myself….for hour after hour. I imagined another person in the room, watching,masturbating, encouraging….it was incredibly stimulating to me to find this “person” would often “advise” me on how better to achieve climax, what “challenges” to take with masturbation, what routines, what games to play….This “person” was my own “pervy brain”, I knew, but it always fascinated me when what I tried gave me such stimulation….to try MORE and DIFFERENT things to my burgeoning, growing, reddening, needy, hungry, drooly cockshank. This fantasy masturbation partner was sometimes female, and sometimes male…but he/she was, I suppose, my “muse”, my “masturbation muse.”
Upon reaching retirement, I learned how to use a computer, and found masturbation sites like this one….and PORN like I’d never before experienced it ! In combination, this has produced in me a need to SHARE my masturbation life with other like-minded persons (especially MALE persons) who have become late-blooming compulsive masturbators. As I had been “sharing” with my “masturbation muse” for many years, without the aid of porn, one can imagine the outcome of these culminating events.
I am simply hopelessly addicted to masturbation now,writing about it and doing it has become a fulfillment of a life long semi-habitual act. I have developed a masturbation technique which I call “BEYOND EDGING” that allows me to maintain a state of “orgasmic bliss” for up to three minutes at a time, and I can experience as much as 45 minutes of this “cumming” feeling for every hour of masturbation. I imagine I developed this technique because of my need to please other compulsive masturbators and give them something to challenge them. I completely go cock crazy when another masturbation addict reveals his emotions and thoughts on sites like these. I am a SOLOSEXUAL jackaddict.
Happy jacking !! Lick it !!
This was inspiring and so wonderful to read. I think every chronic, compulsive masturbator can relate to a lot of your experiences.
I too need to hear the words “masturbation”, “masturbator”, “masturbate”, they make my penis stiffen and make me feel connected to the act I am about to take part in…that is manipulating and arousing my penis into a stiff and firm erection.
I also used to rub or hump against rough and hard surfaces, particularly when younger when I used my hand less but humped more.
Thanks for posting this.