HugeBosomGooner.London
I grew up in a house where magazines with softcore porn were left lying around. Stuff like Playboy and a few other titles that were similar. It’s now, in my early 40s, how I fully realise this warped my sexuality from a young age and I never stood a chance.
I first saw hardcore porn at a neighbour’s house with the other kids when I was about ten. I didn’t understand what I was seeing, but I was fascinated. I started building up a porn collection of my own through high school. This was pre-internet, so I built it up when and where I could. By the time I got my first girlfriend at 16 I was a little bit scared of girls and somewhat porn indoctrinated. She was extremely sexually aggressive, and I wasn’t ready for it. I never managed to get an erection with her. We never had sex. My dad got the internet at his place and it was my first exposure to online porn. When I knew he’d be out for the day, I would go around and wank as much as I could. This was only possible about once every two weeks, and the need to fit as much wanking as possible into these 4-hour windows meant I ended up learning to edge myself. This is probably the moment when I was truly fucked – the pleasure of endless edging meant I was lost to porn, permanently. I would download tons of 5 second clips, look up endless pics, and wank myself stupid until I’d squirt into some tissues and delete all the evidence. When I moved out during university, I began buying inflatable sex dolls. I had a collection of porn magazines and VHS tapes, all focussed on massive boobs, and two sex dolls. I would put on a VHS, lay the magazines out around my bedroom, and have a threesome with my dolls. Other guys my age were dating and having sex with real women.
Eventually I got the internet set up at home, and it was over for me. I would spend night after night edging, barely able to believe that so much pleasure was possible, the sensations in my erect penis totally taking over my priorities. I would rush home from work to wank every night. I would wank in the morning, sometimes being late for work. My obsession with huge boobs was getting worse, and I finally began admitting to myself that I had an incest kink. Soon I was also edging for teen girls, and I wasn’t just wanking for mothers with huge tits… I was also wanking for skinny daughters, too. My masturbation habits were getting weirder… I started making funny noises and pulling strange faces when I wanked. I don’t know why, it just felt good… like a release. Like I was somehow giving into the pleasure. Conscious thought was disappearing and pure insane pleasure was taking over. Eventually I found out that other people did this too, and there’s a name for it: gooning.
At this point, I can goon just at the thought of porn addiction. I get off on conversations about compulsive masturbation. The worse an addict is, the hotter it is. I don’t need porn to get off, although that’s still the preferred method… I can jerk off while just thinking about how badly I need it. It’s been over thirty years since I saw my first hardcore porn, and I’ve accepted that I’m a porn addict for life, and I need viagra and cialis to have sex with actual people. I love being rough and dominant during sex, but when I wank, I’m a stupid, helpless, weak addict… just how I like it.