Onania . Org/asm is for the exclusive use of non-satire-impaired persons over 21 years of age.
If you are satire-impaired, irony-challenged, experiencing reduced or dysfunctional sense of humor, or otherwise have difficulty distinguishing satire from reality, you are advised to read no further. If you are seeking factual and balanced information on masturbation, please see Masturbation – Wikipedia instead.
WARNING:
Onania . Org/asm contains satire, humorous exaggerations, fictional claims, and intentional misrepresentations of facts about the subject of masturbation for the purpose of producing amusement in sophisticated adult readers.
While reading Onania . Org/asm naive and clueless males may experience confusion, feelings of guilt and shame, embarrassment, diminished self esteem, abstinence, and temporary or permanent loss of sexual gratification.
ONANIA . ORG/ASM IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES DUE TO PERSONAL FRUSTRATION, LOSS OF SEXUAL GRATIFICATION, ALIENATION OF THE GENITAL ORGANS OR LOST MASTURBATORY OPPORTUNITIES ARISING FROM READER MISINTERPRETATIONS.