Philosophy and Masturbation: Anatomy of a Metaphor | Majestic Equality

Marx famously claimed that “philosophy stands in the same relation to the study of the actual world as masturbation to sexual love.” People have occasionally made similar remarks to me in the past, usually disparaging a particular type of philosophy, or the philosophy done by certain people, as ‘just mutual masturbation’.

via Philosophy and Masturbation: Anatomy of a Metaphor | Majestic Equality.

1 thought on “Philosophy and Masturbation: Anatomy of a Metaphor | Majestic Equality”

  1. I’m glad that, with this post, you brought up the idea of (heterosexual) coupled sex as the gold standard of sexual behavior/activity, with all other sexual preferences or activities relegated to subordinate or lesser positions in the Sexual Activity Lineup, so to speak.

    I’m a 68-year-old bisexual (but mostly gay) husband, father and grandfather. Yes, my wife knows; the whole family knows, though I’m not ‘out’ in the conventional sense of the term. For me, masturbation, not coupled sex either gay or straight, has been the gold standard, at least in terms of my frequency and preference, ever since I was 7.

    Like most people, I tended to think of masturbation in the conventional way; that is, as a substitute for coupled sex (‘real’ sex). This was the case even though, in my day-to-day sexual life, coupled sex tended to be a distraction from the sex I really wanted, which was sex with myself. After repeated attempts to reform; and after repeated attempts to persuade my wife to continue the marriage, which we both value, despite my lack of interest in sex with her, I was able, only recently, to resolve the issue once and for all. It is not the outcome she’d prefer; but we have a great relationship in countless other ways, and she agrees that, on balance, that is what matters most. She now respects my privacy and doesn’t knock when the door to my office is closed. I try to be discreet, though it’s not easy, with a lot of sex toys to wash every day. Or when I want to moan or grunt or pant, but have to put a lid on it out of consideration for my partner, who, after all, is excluded from these experiences and doesn’t need to be reminded of it.

    The Internet has not only provided a limitless selection of free pornographic images to jerk off to; it has also introduced me to my own considerable appetite for fetishes, which have become part of my masturbatory practice: cock and ball slapping, sounding (erotic stimulation through the urethra), nipple and breast stimulation, and, most significant, the use of dildos and butt plugs.

    I masturbate a minimum of two hours and a max of four, twice and sometimes three times a day. Though it’s all the result of genes and chemistry and physiology, I take pride in my capacity at almost 69 years of age and in the variousness of my appetites.

    And yes, masturbation is so central to my life, I have ‘caught’ myself fingering my cock and lightly slapping my balls through my pants almost unconsciously when I was reading or eating or listening to music.

    I can’t imagine not masturbating. Right now, as a matter of fact. Or a moment from now. I guess that makes me an addict. So be it.

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