Onania Masturbator Forum: Developing addiction

Recently I’ve noticed myself to sink lower in the depravity as I find myself more and more often thinking of something really nasty, something so gross that voice inside my head is saying:” Oh man, that’s bad, too bad for you. You really shouldn’t be doing and thinking that kind of filth.” Then I realise that my cock is rock hard from that. It’s so crazy, you want something that you know is bad for you. I think I’m passing on to phase where I can not resist anymore. At least the resistance is getting weaker and I’m gradually becoming more familiar with the idea that I’m so weak to resist the sexual arousal that it makes me stupid. And more I do it less I care what happens to me. So bring it on, just let me masturbate!

One of the things I’ve realised is that as I masturbate excessively, it really makes me more stupid. I’m thinking that it’s actually the right thing to do that my wife despises me. That is what I am. A freak, addict, masturbator. I wouldn’t mind being a full-time masturbator with no other life. My wife could do all the decision on our life. If she decides to do something bad to me, I wouldn’t mind. What the heck, I’d actually love it. Or maybe not love or even like it, but it makes my cock hard, which means I can not resist it. I think servufon is right, I’m becoming inferior. That’s what I feel with my desires and my incapability to resist.

My wife has further enhanced my humiliation by saying that I need to get her dildo for her and fuck her with it so that she does not have to and can pleasure herself at the same time. When I see the giant dildo inside her it feels so bad that it’s difficult to maintain hardon. I can never fill her like that. It stretches her pussy so much. I can never make her feel that. She says that this is closest the fucking I’ll get and be. I’m not to touch her. It almost makes me cry. But later when I get the chance, like now, I’m masturbating vigorously to the idea even though I know that it just widens the inequality between us. I know it’s bad for me, but I do not care. Just let me masturbate on it. Let me have some more of that drug.