An Eastern European masturbator writes:
I can not define exactly, when I started to jerk off. I am certain, that my first remember of mastubation went back to my childhood, as I was about 4-5 year old boy.
There was a minor problem with me. I suffered phymosis , that meant , my very long foreskin grew over my glans, and it was not possible to pull it back at all. I was not aware of course it`s importance in the normal sex life , even not later during my adolescence.But on the other hand this long foreskin was extremely sensitive, and it was the drive to touch it, rub it and enjoy the nice feeling.
The reason for this chronic problem (which was a minor problem for me that time), my mother. She divorced, she brought up me and my sister alone, and our father lived on a remote place, and did not care for us.
My mother was catholic, and seemingly rather antisexual. She never informed us abou the sex, or the essence of human reproduction, and as she caught me masturbating she scolded at me, or humiltated me, called me naughty , valules boy, similar to my father. I did not understand the connection between the moral values and rubbing my penis.
Of course no any punishment was effective to stop my masturbation habit.
I used to use my pillow at the beginning, later my hand ,but the most enjoyable tool was the shower. Besides in the bathroom, I could look at myself in the mirror, my excitement focused on my naked childish cock and butt, as I was wanking. As I got at 10, I already experienced more or less definitive (dry) orgasm, with spasm and convulsion.
Regarding my defective foreskin, my manual masturbation technic was to this fact.
Instead of pulling down and up the foreskin (which was impossible), I used my first 3 fingers, and I rotated the foreskin horizontally , left and right. The speed was dependent the stage of excitement. My left hand grasped, pressed my testicles, and it`s intensity also increased paralel with my excitation dynamics. (More or less this practice remained my favorite technic until the present.)
My fantasy until 10-11 years of age, focused partly on myself, autoerotically, but I had intensive imaginations about my school fellows, boys from my classroom ( I attended a boys only school). It was especially exciting the sport, and the undress/changing the dress before and after.
Luckily I did not become homosexual, but I kept some open minded character to group sex (MMF) and bisexuality during my adult life.
As I approached 13, my orientation turned intensively to the girls and mainly to women.
I was 13 , as I got informed about the sex. The source was a firend from the school, and at the beginning I did not want to belive the fact of copulation. My friend had to proove it, by presenting me some porn pics (amateur black and white “retro” taken before WWII.)
I never forget the first astonishment to see the sexual act well detailed , on close up photos.
Nearly I collapsed , it was a strange mix of disgusting, curiosity, and intensive libido.
I got a huge erection, which was obvious to my friend, and he suggested me a wank in the toilet. I got the pics, I went to the toilet, and after a few seconds the sperm was spurting, spurting, seemingly no end….
As I returned to the room, he informed the the masturbation normal, and it belonged to his life on everiday scale. His words were very in contrast to the hard moral judge of my mother, and they were reassuring. After this short conversation I felt again my erection even more commanding way than before. But my friend wanted to remain in the room,and he suggested a jerking off together. After some hesitation I agreed, and we sat at a table, our panties pulled down. On the table wre these (poor quality) porn pics, but more Playboys and Penthoues ( it was in the 60-ies), and we exchanged loudly our naughty fantasy, until we started to shot.
It was fantastic! Thereafter weekly, we met early afternoon , after the school , and we jerked off together, but we never touched each other!
From this point on, I did my best to get and collect pics of nude women or girls. The porn was extremely difficult, because we lived in a communist country . The porn was strictly forbidden, valuable treasure. There were some surrogate forms, such as lingerie and swimsuit cataloges, of course no nudity on them.
Luckily at home we had a lot of books of history of art. My mother was a little surprised as she saw, how intensively I devoted myself to the history of art. Of course as she worked, and my sister was at her piano lesson, I put a lot of books open on the bed, and I jerked off watching the famous naked ladies painted by famous artists from Botticelli to Courbet.
I remember, one of my favorite painting was from Bronzino ( Venus, Amor and Jelousy from London, Tate Gallery). As a side product I became very well educated concerning history of painting and sculpture, that gave me a reputation in the school.
I also preferred the sculpture of Rodin , “Spring forever”, the young couple kissing each other.
On the painting of Bronzino, the boyish looking naked Amor armed naked Venus, and his fingers grasped one of her breasts. Venus was not very slender, I should say “chubby” by modern term.
Later, as (I was 17) we were able to visit our relatives emigrated from the communist paradise to Paris, I bought a lot of hard porn, and I was in a porn movie , first time in the life.
At home, in flat of my cousin, it was possible to close the bathroom for a long, and I repeated some fantastic masturbation session in the hot water, as I enjoyed the porn magazines from page to page.
IAt home again, looked for the friends, whose parents worked as (former) ambassadors and other form of services provided by our Ministry of External Affairs. More or less it was always sure, that they have soft or hard porn magazines, or even 8mm sex films.
As my 18 birthday was over , I became university student .. The most important thing was , that the 2/3 of the students were girls, and the female predominance helped me to get my first girlfriend.
She was older than me with 2 ys.,already sexually experienced. She soon revealed my defective cock, and therefore the sex was restricted to petting, and wonderful mutual oral genital practice (“69”)and masturbation. She experienced nice orgasms, as I licked her swollen clit.
As a foreplay we masturbated in front of the other, until orgasm more or less on same time.
After 2 years, she pointed out that I should have operated (cut= circumcise) myself, because she wanted to be married with me.
I did not want to marry yet, in spite of her well figured body and lovely face,and I refused the idea to be operated , and my foreskin to be removed. I had some anxiety about marriage too early ( I was 21, but she was 24), I was well satisfied with the present form of sex, which was mainly 69 or mutual masturbation.
With the pretext of paniking an operation on my cock, I stubbornly resisted the operation of my cock.
She started to be oriented to other guys ( may be she wanted to make me jelous). One day she confessed, that she had sex with one of our friends. She referred to the missing “normal” act between us, and that should had been the reason.
Of course , there was a terrible raw at the beginning, but later we wanted a compromise, and to keep our relation further. But as she explored more and more details about the “normal” sex between her and the other guy, I felt the commanding erection. She revealed it, and suggested a mutual masturbation. It was great! I directed my cumshot at first on her breasts, half an hour later I repeated my ejaculation on her butt….meanwhile she gave more and more obscenic detail about the “normal” sex.
After some of episodes as above (raw and oral sex and masturbation mix), we stopped our going out.
The life without her for a couple of monthes became more painful than I supposed before, and only one remedy was; masturbation and masturbation with porn, without porn.
Then I revealed, that the best porn for me was , when the female partner resembled to my former girlfriend. As a revenge I imagined her to be raped, in centre of gang bang etc.
I felt the urge for masturbation sometimes 5-6 times /day…..
I realized that I had to be operated. I tuned to a competent clinic, my infantile foreskine was cut and over. As a result , it was a great loss of intensity of joy and orgasm during masturbation. On the other hand, as a consolation was my far bigger stamina in sex life.
After two short lasting girlfriend, I started to go out with a girl, who I married later with.
Surprisingly she was far more enthusiastic for oral satisfaction ,than for “normal” penetration, and our sex life was well satisfying. Besides she discovered my porn collection, and instead of conflict and objection, she sometimes was able to look at them , magazines or short films, provided they were not too brutal. The mutual masturbation enriched our sex life, and if she was too busy or tired accepting sex, I could go the a smaller room, for a jerk off with or without porn. She was very interested in my fantasies, and she enjoyed the lesbian porn immensely.
I had to travel to abroad frequently, unfortunately without her (it was 80-ies, and to get passport for “capitalist” country was not always easy…)
In the hotel I masturbated always, thinking of her, masturbating together and watching porn…
After 10 years marriage a “bomb exploded”. After a longer business travel, she confessed that she cheated me, with a collegue of her place of job.
I directed the events to repeat my practice with my first lover 15 years ago; I gave her “official allowance” to be fucked by her lover , when I was not at home (in my country). She pointed out that she was not in love with him, her sexual drive wanted a pure satisfaction only. Seemingly our marriage was not in danger.
Later she managed to follow her sexual adventure as I was at home with her. As I fucked her in doggy style, or she was riding on me, she had to explain all the intim details with her lover…..At the end, we changed our lifestyle, and we formed succesful MMF threesome with her lover…
When she was out, “officially allowed” once a week, I masturbated furiously. I imagined her naked body fucked by another man, and her loud orgasm… As she returned we always had sex, but sometimes I had erection difficulty (because 2-3 ejaculation before), and we masturbated mutually speaking very nasty.
Once as I was abroad, I called them by phone, and the fucked, and she explained all the details, how her guy just penetrated, and when was his shot. Of course I was masturbating, and I pointed her by phone , when I also ejaculated.
Once we managed to synchronize our orgasm by phone. His friend shot her into her anal ,as she rubbed her clit also orgasming, and I heard their orgasmic noises in the phone, I responded with huge shot ….
That was the year of Chernobyl.
The story tragically ended, because she died 3 years later very rapidly in cancer .
The tragic loss was enormously difficult to compensate. I missed her very, I changed the ladies very frequently , and nobody was able to replace her.
The masturbation , when I imagined her with me again, or I collected porn materials , where the female partners were a little or very similar to her, provoked me far more intensive orgasm, than the sex with ladies hardly interesting…
Today I live in my second marriage , where the sex plays an undergraduate role. Our relationship correct, friendly, helpful, the sex less frequent, and remain on intermediate level.
The real joy is, when I am alone, and I can masturbate , at the beginning slowly, thereafter quicker and quicker, but with coffee breaks, watching a thriller, eating etc..
I start with pics, I edit sex novels from to the pics, I chat, I watch shorter clips, later longer films.My favorite is the classy /retro porn. My favorite star is Kay Parker from the 70-ies, because her figure and face is very close to my former wife…
One ejaculation is never enough, and in general the second is more intensive and more exhausting than the first….
I like the timing of my cumshot with the shot of the male partner on the film. I dont prefer the facial shot , i think it is monotonic , not very erotic except one or two.
I like the cumshot to be landed on a beautiful breast or butt, especially on the crack, and on a hairy pussy…
I program these parts on the DVD player or PC in repeating mode, and the 2nd or 3th repetition helps me to get the big relief; the hot and long pulsating splashes of sperm, what I help with a rhythmical pressure on my testicles with my other hand…..
Sometimes I have a fantasy, that I would record my sex with my first wife, and I would publish it by a webcam
. Especially it would be nice , when teen boys would jerk off watching our love.
It was a pity that I was not able to share my wife that time, with young teen boys. She would have enjoyed it, and me too!
Once, 5 years ago, i found an advertisement on the net. A young couple wanted older man as a third with financial interest. I visited them, I watched their sex several times, and I masturbated, or once the girl gave me oral satisfaction, as her husband fucked her from behind. Nevertheless to watch them and masturbate was more intense joy.
I think , this story illustrates, that the masturbation can be a big psychological help in stress situation, and helps to get over depressive feelings.
When my masturbation orgasm was really exhausting last night, my creativity in job is far better. Frequently the next day is the day for sex with my present wife.
Sometimes I feel a wish for young teen girls, or a little for boys (not too frequent). I look for proper porn about them, a noce orgasm, and this isue does not affect me for weeks.
I agree, that the availability of porn , and the masturbation rather decrease the sexual criminality than in oposit.
I would like to try some sex toys for men, flash etc., especially as you chat , or writes or edit the pics etc, .You wish to be stimulated, but you do not have free hand!You need a help/toy!
Love be naked ever since I was 5-6yrs old, jo all the time, love phone sex, dirty old men