Post by JOMaster » Sat Nov 25, 2023 10:23 am
Furniture Fucking
A passing remark in a post from Wet Jane about humping a sofa arm summoned a series of memories from my youthful days of masturbation. The first masturbation technique that I remember is from when I was four or five: I would lie naked in my bedroom on top of my pillow, thrusting into the gap between pillow and bed. *
In time, I discovered that my hands were a perfect fit to my penis and the humping method fell by the wayside. At least, for a time…
I don’t recall why I thought of it, but when I was ten or eleven, I became preoccupied with masturbating by humping things—especially furniture. Though I would thrust my hard dick into anything handy—chairs, rugs, mattresses, beanbag chairs, throw pillows—the best were sofas. At that age, the seam between the seat cushions was at the perfect height for me to fuck it on my knees. So many times, when I had the house to myself (or everyone was asleep, late at night), I would be pumping my boner into those cushions until I climaxed [I didn’t ejaculate at that age, but I still experienced orgasm].
It wasn’t the sensation that made it so hot for me—my hands felt better—but it was the illicit thrill of doing something bold and maybe a little extreme (I can remember saying out loud, “I’m fucking the couch!” To turn myself on).
For a time, no couch was safe. I fucked the sofa at my grandparents’ house during a holiday trip; at a family friend’s when I was watching their kids one night (It’s possible one of the kids spied on me); and on at least two occasions I can recall, at friends’ houses during sleepovers. Overnight stays with friends were a great chance to expand my masturbatory horizons. Once everyone the house was safely asleep, I would slip out of my pajamas (even at that age, I had a nude-only masturbation rule) and roam the darkened house with my hard penis leading the way.
This was such hot stuff for a young exhibitionist: not just nude in someone else’s home, not just masturbating in their living room, but fucking their sofa! The chance of being found out was so exciting, and I remember getting close to orgasm and getting that feeling I think all exhibitionists have, when the thrill that one might get caught is supplanted buy a need to be caught, to be seen, to be witnessed as a shamelessly depraved masturbation maniac.
The phase passed, as my onanistic interests moved on to outdoor and public masturbation, and other such thrills. Once in a great while, I may still revisit the furniture as a source of self-pleasure. A few hotel suites have seen me have my way with the love seat, either fucking the gap between cushions or using that gap to hold a jack-off sleeve in place for a hands-free toy fuck.
My last sofa hump at home was when I was on holiday break from college. I was really horny, and it was difficult to wait for night, but in the wee hours I padded nude down to the living room and started thrusting into those cushions. My old, upholstered sex partner was as compliant as ever, and humping the sofa as I had done years ago had a nostalgic quality. When I was about to cum, I pulled out and lay on the couch and sprayed myself with my hot spunk, bucking my hips and suppressing my grunts of pleasure. My tension well-released, I fell asleep immediately. I awoke hours later with the sounds of my mother in the kitchen and a blanket laid over me. She had found me on the sofa, nude and semen-spattered, and covered me with the blanket!
*In fact, my earliest clear memory is of my mother walking in on me when I was having one of my pillow-humps. Here nonchalant reaction may have been very influential in my growing up a shameless masturbator.