Embarrassment – Onania Masturbator Forum

It’s so interesting to see how, even though we are all masturbators, we each are triggered to masturbate, edge, goon etc by various sources. From my standpoint, if someone is a “proud masturbator” then they almost feel empowered by it and want to flaunt it in some way. Perhaps they feel it would turn someone else on to perform their masturbation ritual so proudly. In this case, I feel it makes the watcher the more vulnerable one.

I’ve always thought of the act of masturbation as the most vulnerable thing someone could do, especially if facing someone as they do it. I would personally love to experience the dynamic of being able to sit down with someone and speak openly about his or her life of masturbation. Then to watch as their open confessions begin to electrify them with intense emotions, as their deepest secrets are poured out. Eventually, the myriad of emotions (vulnerability, nervousness, embarrassment, arousal etc) become so overwhelming that they can’t keep from pulling their pants down and masturbating feverishly as their confessions continue. I would be there, watching like a curious schoolboy as they eventually surrender and ejaculate explosively.

I know this is just one person’s view and I respect all viewpoints. I just wanted to share the dynamic that I hope to one day encounter with someone

My embarrassment as a chronic masturbator has been happening in two ways. The first one is the fact that various members of my family have caught me masturbating. Most of the time it was 100% by accident although we all know the thrill of getting caught. I’ve placed various blog postings here about some of my previous situations, including my sister in law who kept walking around in front of me while my wife was on vacation. Of course I let her catch me jacking off.

The biggest embarrassment is this: situations where someone caught you jacking off and now whenever they come over they wonder if they are going to catch you jacking off again. For me the answer to this is no. Why? Circumstances and people change. True or True? Now onto the second embarrassment. Ready? The second embarrassment is that I developed a “sperm cyst” on one of my testicles. In other words, one of my balls makes too much cum so I have been ordered by my doctor to masturbate once each day. He told me to pull as much sperm out as I can. My sessions usually last about 60 minutes, but recently I have gone as long as 120 minutes.

So the second deepest humiliation is having to go back to family members (in-laws or distant cousins) who caught me jacking off and let them know I have a sperm cyst and that I have to jack off every day to reduce the amount of my sperm so that I don’t need surgery.

Chronic Masturbation as a medical condition. How do you like that one.

Yes the self fulfilling prophecy pun intended. Jerking it and getting caught one way or the other and everyone always knew or found out that I was a sexually inexperienced addicted masturbator and I would get off even more on the embarrassment and jerk it even more. I have been caught by female room mates who would tell everyone and insinuate in a joking but knowing way when ever I was around. Some time it was more direct like saying something to me like, “you must masturbate a lot.” I was in my early 20’s and I would get off on them knowing that I was a virgin and I would confess to my sexual inexperience. When I did get a “girlfriend” she was more curious then anything else and our “sex” life was basically her paying some attention to me and me getting super horny and masturbating for her.

I used to take huge risks by being totally naked except for a fleshlight I made a harness for. It serves to keep my fleshlight secured on my cock so that, even if I were to go completely flaccid, my fleshlight would remain tight enough that I would not have to harden to re-enter.

As an aside, it ilso makes edging a long distance game. I have to really keep track of far way I am from a spontaneous orgasm, because getting the fleshlight off in time to stay edged might not be quick enough, which makes that feeling of edging that much more vivid.

Anyway, every now and then I’d get so horned up after edging from 5PM until 2 or 3AM that I wanted to heighten my arousal even more by exposing exactly what I had been doing for the last 10 hours. In that state of ultra-goon I would step outside my door, fleshlight affixed, and walk into the middle of the four-way intersection right by my place, totally naked. My town has around 38,000 people, so my place is on the corner of an average town intersection, which is to say, well populated. I would walk into the intersection of this well-lit, mildly busy, suburban residential zone, full exposed. My heart would be racing. Just remembering makes my heart race. Totally exposed. Reputation demolished. Law, a reasonably plausible consequence. Suck a huge lust-induced need to be really seen for the pornography addict, and consequentially, edging fiend. I just can’t get enough porn, and I can’t get enough edging. Out in the intersection, sometimes for several minutes at a time, I would buck my hips (bouncing my fleshlight) to a sustainable edge. When I was gooned beyond belief I’d add clearly audible grunts and, “Oh yeah! Fuck yeah! I hope some one is watching! I love porn! I love porn! I’m a porn addict!” to the mix to make even riskier. I spoke my words loud enough so that if a window as open there might have been someone who may hear me.

Since before puberty I’ve masturbated with buddies peeking at girls…the first was at my friend’s bedroom window looking across to a girl next door visiting her grandma and hoping to catch a glimpse of her taking off her bra before bed. win or loose, we masturbated together at the end. Then hiding in the bushes next to the bus stop where girls waited in their school uniforms.

My first real exposure was at a beach, masturbating openly among older men. Most exciting recently was going out with panties and bras on under our clothes, talking about or chatting with attractive women, and knowing that we would wind up mastubrating together in the car or back home masturbating and sucking.

Source: (10) Embarrassment – Onania Masturbator Forum

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