by ParkRob » Fri May 19, 2023 7:42 am
It has been a long journey for me as a masturbator. Been at it for 26 years with a few stints in chastity and, embarrassingly, a moment where I fell for the NoFap cult. Masturbation, porn, and I….it always felt so natural to spend all my free time with my cock all greased up.
It’s always been my main interest…at this point I would say porn is 80% of my media consumption. Which it is so vexing that I let the shame society put on me bifurcate my adult life…one side I was a unhappily married suburban dad, the other side a trans goon addict. The first I would play til the family went to bed and then I would get to be my true self on goontwt and varous discord servers.
But that kind of life splitting is unsustainable…firstly, I’m 35, if I dont get enough sleep I will literally fall apart…secondly, being denied so much of myself, it built up a lot of unfair resentment towards my wife.
So after a decade of marriage, she found my stash of porn widow captions and my sissy blog. She was hurt, but supportive of my transition..So we tried to repair things, but even with best attempts she eventually asked me for a divorce. Which was sad at the time, but it did leave me in the fortunate position to have the weekdays all to myself.
I think it’s not all unreasonable to keep some partitions in my personal life, the most obvious one being a wall between my adult life and my parental obligations…but I feel like that’s enough, I am not particularly ashamed enough of my chronic masturbation or porn addiction….So my goal this year is to the close the gap in my adult life and live freely as my whole self.
Thus far I’ve confided in my romantic partners and my bestie…they’ve been so accepting of me and it has been so liberating to have social spaces where I can whip my dick out and it’s considered fine. I do want to get to a point where I can freely lead with this side of myself or at the very least to be out enough to make everyone’s christmas shopping a bit easier.
if anyone has experience walking their lives in this direction I’m all ears for advice or encouragement