Ken said: The workshop is like a twelve step program, but without the steps. It was held here at a Sexual Health Center. I did get a lot out of listening to other’s, some were very happy, some were in tears after they spoke. In the end, it lasted four weeks, two times each week, i did learn to “control”. I masterbate about as much as i always did. i just move it around to times when it does not affect my life.Now, when i do jerk off, as i did a few minutes ago, I can enjoy it even more, knowing in my head that what i am doing is not hurting my life, my mind is clear and i able able to totally enjoy the experience. With no guilt. It took me a good 8 months to get it right. There was one or two funny thing’s that also happened there. They served coffee, and we were all sitting there with full bladders, and no one wanted to excuse themselves to go to the washroom. knowing that people would think we wanted to beat the meat. Finallt, one guy said: “Look, if someone wants to come to the washroom with me, and make sure i don’t jerk off, then please do. if not i am going to wet the floor.” About the entire group rushed off to the cans. Twenty men, two urinals, one can. My first time there, i found the instructor/trainer to be such a hunk. i was not listening to him, just thinking of how great it was going to be masterbating with him in my mind after the ssession. This is also where i made some friends. And three of them over the last few years have lost their job’s, family. I hope that they can get back into therapy and get their life back, and begin to truly enjoy the act of masterbation.
The main ways that the workshop/group helped was “support”, and not from someone you find attractive, though to some that is not even important. The most difficult is to stay away from porn for awhile. Keep going to the group, either in person, or online, and talk your ass off, open up, ask for help from other’s and give back in return. if you live close by you can call, sort of like what a sponsor in for AA or DA. I decided for myself to totally fix up an old antique dresser, sanding, staning, you name it. i also got into crosswords. For me they took total control of my mind and masterbation, though it did pop into my head, was in time better and better controlled. of course, i slipped many, many times. What also helped my was love for my family, my partner, I was sick of hurting them. Always being late, or not doing things right for them, so that i could quickly rush home a jerk off. In my case, i knew my mom was getting old and needed my help to stay in here apartment. i had to be there. In awhile, masterbation was not number one on my list, not even in the top five. Someone in an earlier email to the group mentioned that they jerk off unintentionally. They just see a hot photo and they have to stop and jerk it off. Obviously, do not look at these imagines, in time you can and you will be able to control yourself. it sounds difficult and it is. As is getting rid of any addiction. I would stay up all night looking at porn and jerking off, then call in sick and sleep and masterbate in bed. i lost a lot of weight, only ate things i could microwave. I then joined a gym, i go there three time’s a week. Seeing nude men at first would have been a bad idea. I joined in my seventh month of being in the workshop. And this has really helped. of course, now i can jerk off when i get home, or have sex, sometimes i still fake it, mainly because i am tired, not from over masterbation. And I love blow jobs again. i am gay and not married, so intercourse is no problem for me. I am not into anything anal either, so penetration or being hard often to do so, does not matter. Not all gay men love anal play or sex.