It’s been a while for me, but today I remembered when I stopped trying to quit being a compulsive masturbator. It was so relieving admiting that I am a complete addict, and that I will likely never change. Before that I had always felt a little guilty – I was still binge masturbating (close to what I do now; around 6 hours on weekdays, 10 – 12 on weekends) – but I tried to maintain somewhat of a social life, and would often try to quit, usually just lasting a few days.
The moment of accepting who I am came after my last attempt at quitting. I hadn’t edged that whole work week (Monday through Friday), but as I came home on Friday I passed an adult video store. While I didn’t go in, just thinking about all the wonderful porn and perverts in there got me so hard, I went home and immediately started edging, furiously watching porn on the internet. I edged through the whole weekend, cancelling plans to see friends, totally captive to the BBWs and gangbangs I was watching online. At that moment I accepted who I was. There have only been a handful of days I haven’t edged at least 2 hours since then – and that was about 7 years ago.
Now I am a hermit masturbator, who doesn’t need to worry about my “friends” bothering me because they stopped calling a long time ago. I know I will never have a “normal” family life, or social life, but this is who I am. I am ashamed at what I have turned in to, but that just fuels me. All I want now is more humiliation porn, as I sit in my masturbation cave and edge my life away. I need this so badly….. Continue reading
my life as a masturbator, the early years (source)
by Jay Mayo
My first encounter with masturbate was at age eight. I remember being in the bathroom of my parents home. I must have had a woody, at the same time as having to pee. Peeing was hard to do with a hard little wiener, could be messy.
I must have stroked my little wiener in a manner that prompted another, then another, right hand, left hand, slapped against my belly. It burned warm, and something triggered the desire for more stimulation of my pencil size hairless wiener. I had no idea, only that it felt really, really good. The more I slapped, the better it feels, so I continued to slap, until I dry climaxed, little wiener pumping and spazing. Wow, that was great, didn’t really know what it was, just wanted to do it again. I do remember dry climaxing being different from ejaculations of semen, in a good way, like a warm wind through a small tube, it was very nice. I think I was slapping my wiener daily for weeks, that’s until I got caught. Continue reading
It’s January 7th again, and 2012 marks the 33rd anniversary of my first ejaculation…which, of course, came via my own hand while looking at pornography. After all these years, it is still my favorite way to achieve orgasm.
While I might not post here as much anymore about masturbation and seem to spend more time on computer and Internet advice to help protect otherwise distracted porn surfers — plus the fact that I have a much more “happy” outlook on my jacking habits than is the overall trend here of late — have no doubt…I am just as addicted to stroking and making myself explode with a glorious cum as I ever have been. ….
For more like this, join the Onania Masturbator Forum, a supportive, affirming community of people living with chronic addiction to masturbation. The focus is on our lives as addicted masturbators, and the pleasures / conflicts / impacts related to our compelling habit.