Take THE NO PUSSY PLEDGE

Face it, Masturbator: you aren’t getting any pussy. And your last attempt was a humiliating failure and only annoyed the pussy. So get past grieving for your lost manhood, and accept your life as a pussy-less Pathetic Male Masturbator. Join your fellow chronics and take the No Pussy Pledge! Just copy and paste the text below into a new reply, and edit or add your own remarks.

THE NO PUSSY PLEDGE

I, <your name>, openly acknowledge that Pussy is a Privilege, deserved only by Real Men and not by Pathetic Male Masturbators like me. I understand that pussies need to be fucked long hard and deep by large stiff cocks, not noodled and dribbled on by wimpy wanker weiners. I admit that I have voided all male claims to pussy by my constant compulsive masturbation. Therefore I pledge to cease all attempts at pussy fucking, now and for evermore. I surrender all male pussy privilege to alpha male breeders and accept my permanent role of pussy-less beta male masturbator. I promise never to annoy another pussy with my pathetic attempts at copulation, and even if a kind female offers me a pity-fuck I will respectfully decline and masturbate in front of her. In exchange for giving up pussy, I retain the right of unlimited access to and personal use of pussy pictures, plastic pussies, and most importantly Hand Pussy.