Jane is the author of WaysWomenOrgasm.org and Nosper.com. WaysWomenOrgasm.org aims to inform and reassure women of all ages: both the site content and pictures are completely clean. Nosper.com is interested in promoting approaches to family life that allow us to raise children while remaining sane. The site welcomes suggestions for how adults of both sexes can continue doing their own thing and having fun together while, at the same time, being there for their kids.
Friday, 16 October 2009
Very few women can talk confidently about sexual arousal
When I could find no answers from talking to experts, I decided to embark on research of my own and talk to women I came across in everyday life.
I did this by writing down some of my experiences and conclusions and then asking women whether they would be willing to read what I had written. I made it clear that there was no obligation for my reviewers to comment.
Perhaps the first point to remark on is just how difficult it is to decide who one can ask to comment (or not) on one’s own personal experiences. I found that there were in fact very few women who I would be brave enough even to ask.
It is much more widely accepted that men are rarely offended by any sexual references. It is much less certain that a woman will not be offended. Even making an approach on such a taboo subject can easily come across as at least odd, if not perverted.
I only approached women who I thought might have a sense of humour about sex. So even if they were not interested they wouldn’t be mortally offended. Even having selected women in this way, the fact is that very few were prepared to comment.
Silence is difficult to interpret. Were they shocked, angry or embarrassed? I’ll never know.
“Many women find it very difficult to talk about sex with their male partners. More than a quarter of the women with whom I have discussed the subject say that they never talk to their partners about things they might do to improve lovemaking.” (p117 Woman’s Experience of Sex 1983)
via Jane Thomas.
Wifey knows I masturbate. Occasionally she knows when I do. I’m not so secretive any more like I used to be; and I leave clues sometimes, but not often. But as others have said here and other places online in their comments, our female partners would most likely be shocked, or at least surprised at how much we masturbate. During my normal routine I usually jack off twice a day: once in the morning as soon as she leaves and then usually a longer more elaborate session in the afternoon, my “me time”. And lots of times I engage in more masturbating during the day — or at night as the mood strikes me and I can get the free time and privacy. I don’t think I’m all that different in this from many of you other masturbators, right?
I think our wives and girlfriends would be even more surprised to know whom we masturbate to. It’s not usually my wife. It’s not usually your girlfriend is it? You have a porn muse in your mind that you stroke to. I have my collection of porn on my computer, … pics and vids and stories which get me hard and help me cum. And of course my stack of choice DVDs that I can play during my longer periods, jacking as I watch them. The women in them are what Richard Lovel terms our “Masturbation Muses.” My wife has no idea that I carry around a specific image in my head of my masturbation muse. If I just do myself in a quickie, I can usually get hard and cum just by shutting my eyes and stroking to the fantasy in my mind of my current muse. I think all of us strokers have one muse who is always there to turn us on in our need.
more via Fistful of Cum.
in http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Pathetic_Masturbators/ masturbators wrote:
I am new to this group and I want to thank you for letting me join.
I am a masturbator.
I have always masturbated but I thought that when I got married it would stop. Wrong. I would start to mount my wife and as soon as my cock head penetrated her pussy, I would go limp. This went on for a long time in our marriage.
We tried watching porn. I would get quite an erection watching hung men take their huge penises and fuck these hot women.
I would roll over on my wife and as soon as my cock touched the opening of her pussy I would go limp.
She would let me manually stimulate her to orgasm and then I would masturbate myself.
She soon tired of this and one day brought another man into our bedroom. Her reasoning was that maybe if I saw some one else able to stay erect inside her I would be able to as well.
Well, I did get a hard erection watching him mount her and bring her to orgasm with his huge cock. However, I still had the same problem and when my penis touched her vagina, I went limp.
I have now resigned myself to the fact that I will always be a masturbator. Continue reading
My Preference For Masturbation
When you are in a sexual relationship with someone there is an interesting dynamic that takes place. You can be straight, bi, or gay it does not matter. The biggest part is about the communication.
For most of my own marriage it was not what happened in the bedroom it was all the anticipation, the planning and the talking about it.
If you have been taught that masturbation, jacking off, rubbing your clit is bad it is not. It is the single most healthy thing you can do for yourself.
Making a decision to keep your sexual health is a good one. There are a number of web sites that I love to visit to keep me up to speed.
There is a huge difference in my view between being an active masturbator and being a chronic masturbator. Since 30% of all internet traffic is Porn, if you want to get your own life back….you’ll have to control that habit.
But more significantly than that, I make a point of dressing and undressing in front of the bedroom window, with the curtains open and the lights on. I always face the garden. We don’t actually know any of the neighbours who could witness this but I sincerely hope there is someone out there, watching me naked, and masturbating as I display myself to them.
via Showing off to friends « Accidental Masturbator.
a masturbator wrote:
For about month I decided to give my masturbation habit a break. I lasted about four weeks. Now in a sexless marriage…my wife has been sexual with me three times with me in the last year. I’ve developed a new habit now that my jack off habit is in full force. What is it? It’s a form of humiliation. My Mrs. had a male friend…..they mainly cook together but I did invite them to be intimate.
On February 19, 2002, Cindy Beall received the shock of her life when her husband Chris came home and confessed to committing adultery. She already knew Chris struggled with pornography, but she had no idea how out-of-control his addiction had become. He told her that his addiction had moved from pornography to meeting people online and had led to an affair. Moreover, the woman with whom he had an affair was now pregnant.
Three years ago I had the privilege of interviewing Chris and Cindy. During the interview she talks about a struggle she had knowing Chris’ pornography addiction.
via My Husband Watches Porn: Am I Not Enough for Him? | Covenant Eyes.