Tag Archives: Furniture

Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench

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There but for the grace of God go we … 

Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

He panicked and called the police to help him.

hk-man-penis02 Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench picture
When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

more at Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench | Weird Asia News

Humping

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A masturbator said:

I have been masturbating without understanding what I was doing since i was 6. All I knew is that it was naughty and shouldn’t get caught. I was sent to bed early one night as punishment and couldn’t sleep, so I pulled my underpants off and started rubbing my soft little weiner against the sheet. I did it for quite a long time and eventually fell asleep. The very next night i was actually anxious to go to bed so I could do it again. Then I would think about it most of the day, and soon started humping on stuff outdoors. If it was wintertime or rainy, I did it in the attic of a barn we had, on an old couch stored up there (wasn’t even ours).

All was ok until I was 8 and got caught by mom. She got really mad! >From then on I was super careful and did it more often than not outside. Once I could squirt cum, anothe problem came up……how to hide it. Now that I could cum, I did it 2-3 times a day, and while outdoors was no problem, I had to hide the results from my mom when I humped indoors.

I would hump and cum on my hankie so that took care of hiding it. Since I started out doing it naked, I preferred it that way, but after all that thrashing and humping, my undies would get lost at the foot of the bed, so I took to just pulling them off one leg. I especially liked to hump naked in the woods after school.

Once I started working and did a little traveling, the first thing I would do is buy a stroke mag or 2 and check in to the hotel, where I got naked and humped both beds and the floor. All day long I would think about getting back to the room and humping again. I always left the mags and the cum in the room.

Happily married now, and wife is fine with my obsession since she caught me doing it in the garage about a year after we got married. She even helped me hump during her period, so no complaints at all. But as time went on, I wanted to hump more than have sex with her. I really am obsessed with masturbating and have read all I can find about it, both male and female, and I do it every time she leaves the house as well as after she’s asleep upstairs. I used to ‘save some cum’ for her but now I don’t care. I even fake it if I have to.

For a several years now i’ve humped on the phone with both male and female partners that also hump. Finding a site like this to share is a blessing to all of us.

 

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Caught Humping the Couch

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Chronic Masturbation Stories
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HowtoPunishaMasturbator 

A boy caught humping the couch by his mom 

I’ve been masturbating for as long as I can remember. We used to have a TV and a couch in my basement, and as a small child I can remember how much I liked being alone down there at night. I used to turn the lights off and watch TV. There were things I saw on TV that stimulated me – I don’t remember exactly what, because its too difficult to put myself back into the mindset of a child of 5 or 6.

But when I did get stimulated, what I used to do was push the couch away slightly from the wall, climb up on the ridge, and hump the couch while I continued to watch TV. There was this delicious feeling I used to get from rubbing against the couch – because the rubbing and humping made my peter dance around in my PJs. The feeling would build like a wave, radiating outwards from my crotch until it threw this electric shock all theough my body.

While I was doing this, I was conscious of the footsteps upstairs. I knew what I was doing was dirty, and I knew that no one should know that I did this. Sometimes I would be up there on the ridge of the couch, and I would hear my mother’s heels approach the basement door. It was like a race – if I wasn’t far enough into it, I could force myself to stop, climb down from the couch and push it back against the wall.

But one time she approached the door at exactly the worst moment-just as that wave started. So I couldn’t stop. My head knew something bad would happen, but my body couldn’t stop what it was doing because that electric feeling was starying to build. I heard her heels on the stairs while I was still humping madly. And when I opened my eyes, she was standing at the bottom of the stairs, shocked at what she saw – her little boy humping a couch. Like a dog.

“What are you DOING!” She seemed almost frightened. Shocked at the realization that there was a rabid little animal into what she thought was her sweet little boy.

Me – I was red with shame. I didn’t answer her. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t have explained it, because I didn’t understand what I was doing. We never spoke of this. But I didn’t stop. I still watched TV at night in the dark. I still climbed up on the couch at least once a night. Only now when she needed to come downstairs for something, she always approached the door slowly. Very slowly.

The sofa-sexual masturbator: couch copulation and furniture fucking examined. [Podcasturbation]

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IMGP4090  Solo-sexual chronic masturbators often exhibit tendencies of sofa-sexuality. You won’t find that term (yet) in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, although there are a few scattered uses of it on the Web. I take sofa-sexuality to mean deriving gratification from sexual intercourse with a sofa (as opposed to on a sofa), chair, or other consenting adult furniture.  I use it interchangeably with the alliterative phrases couch copulation and furniture fucking.

Though society may disparage having sex with furniture, there is much to recommend it. Furniture is both accommodative and non-judgmental, allowing even the shyest and most insecure male to practice important coital positions and movements without fear of failure or rejection. Many adolescent males develop sexual skill and confidence by copulating with couches before moving on to more conventional human partners. Chronic masturbators may continue the practice into maturity, in addition to or even in place of intercourse with a partner. I am one of those, and in this audio program I offer my personal history and thoughts on sofa-sexuality as I penetrate deeply into the matter until thoroughly exhausted.

A Pants-Down Podcasturbation: The sofa-sexual masturbator: couch copulation and furniture fucking examined — click or download to listen ( 24 minutes)  

Note: if this is your first visit to my site, click to see what it is about or listen to all my podcasturbations.

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Continue reading below for photos and instructions for performing sofa-sexual intercourse. Continue reading →