getting caught

a masturbator wrote:

——————————–

Well, I’ve been caught so many times by my wife that she doesn’t even
seem to notice any more.
What you have to have is: A mature, understanding person, whom will
not be permanently scarred by the experience, and a place where you
have a reasonable expectation of privacy, such
as your own home.
One time I had a house with a courtyard that visitors had to enter
before coming to knock on the door.  The fence was high enough for me
to see over, but someone coming down the street couldn’t see me on my
sofa.  They came into my courtyard and oops, I was so embarrassed.
Motel maids will sometimes walk in on you if you don’t hear them
knock.  Maybe you are wearing earphones or something.
At massage parlors you could do it, but they think you are creepy
(which I guess I am).
If you come up with any other ways, I’ll try them, too.

 

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Orgasm Club – Boys Clubhouse 1

In spite, or perhaps because of, the infuriatingly slow tempo of her masturbation, Todd soon felt the semen began to gather up in his balls in preparation for a major cum shot. He was breathing heavily now and his glasses were all fogged up. It was obvious to both of them that he was close, very close, to orgasm. Todd bounced up and down on his toes, trying in vain to increase the sensations enough to be able to cum, but Mrs. Westbrook continued to frustrate him. With his hands secured to his sides, Todd could do little to help or hinder her erotic endeavors. He had no choice but to stand there and take it as she pumped him ever-so-slowly towards oblivion. Within moments, he felt his glans swell up and his scrotum tighten in preparation for an earth-shattering orgasm.

Just when Todd thought he couldn’t last another second without shooting ropy strings of cum right thru the dingy mirror, Mrs. Westbrook stopped! Cold! Left right on the edge and hanging, Todd turned pleading hazel eyes towards her. “M..Mrs Westbrook, why did you stop? I was almost there!!” he complained in disbelief. His abandoned boner still thrust stiffly into the air, a dewy bead of precum hanging forlornly at the tip.

“Todd!” she exclaimed sternly, “I told you I know what’s best for young boys like you. I’ve got two of my own you know.”

via Orgasm Club – Boys Clubhouse 1.

I just got caught

So here I am, sitting in my basement, naked, getting ready to Lube ? up my 3 SIACs to flight, when my nosy grandpa tells me to go to sleep, and starts making his way down. Panicing to grab my boxer, I put both legs through one side of the boxer and couldn’t find the other hole to put my other leg through so I just pulled my boxer all the way up, and laid my pants over it.

He gets here, sees me as I am topless and putting my shirt on, sees the 3 SIACs that I did not have time to put away, and asks what those are.

Not knowing what the hell to say given the small amount of time (and the mouth ? and Vagina ? orifaces were facing his direction), I managed to mumble something like “a friend gave it to me”, and he asks what they are for, and I say “I dunno”

Then he just walks upstairs

Great.. I feel like I lost the urge to flight for as long as I live in this house

via The Male Sex Toy Blog – Fleshlight Reviews ect » Blog Archive » ****, I just got caught.

The Devil Made me Do It

From a masturbator in OnaniaSupport:

“Sister Mary Bernadette, you said you wanted to see me?”

“Yes Frankie. Please close the door and have a seat.

“I wanted to talk to you about your masturbation habit. Don’t look so
shocked. Of course Father Doyle can’t share your confession to him
with me or anyone else. But I’ve been teaching boys like you for many
years, and I can see in your eyes the mornings masturbate before
coming to school. I can also tell you leave the afternoons when you
plan to masturbate first thing when you get home. And that’s most
mornings and most afternoons, isn’t it? Sometimes you even duck into
the boys’ room and do it at Cardinal Monahan High, don’t you?
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PeterFiles #20: Ejaculatory Urgency Study

“The Ejaculatory Urgency Study”

A PeterFiles Audio Masturbation Fantasy.

Intrigued by a research project seeking chronic masturbators to participate in a study of the male ejaculatory reflex under prolonged stimulation, Peter volunteers for the “Ejaculatory Urgency Study”. The screening interview is both more exciting and more embarrassing than he could have imagined.

The author appends his own climax to that of the story at the end.

Nurse massage

a masturbator recalls:

Here’s a little experience from about 5-6 years ago that has fed a lot of fantasies ever since.  One day I came down with a "leaky dick" problem.  Called my urologist for an appointment and was told he wasn’t available right away, but the "nurse practioner" would see me if I was ok with that.  I said fine and showed up at the Dr’s office forthwith.  For those of you unfamiliar with how they diagnosis a prostate problem, usually the first step is a "prostate massage" where a finger is inserted into the anus and the prostate is rubbed through the wall of the rectum till it expresses seminal fluid which flows from your soft cock.  That sample is then viewed under the microscope. 

Well, lo and behold, when the door opened to the examination room, in walks the "nurse practioner"…a very attractive Olivia Newton-John look-a-like in her mid thirties.  She proceeded with the "work-up", getting the details of my symtoms, etc, before asking that I drop my pants and underwear and bend over the examing table, during which time whe was putting on the requisite "rubber glove" and getting out the KY.  She lubed me up, slid her finger in and began massaging my prostate.  Let my tell you, she was extremely talented.  I was holding the glass "slide" on which the fluid was to be caught for viewing under the microscope, and she must have gotten what seemed like 3 or 4 ounces out of me.  It covered the slide and ran down all over the table…much more than ever had been drawn out in any previous exam I’d had.  I was really amazed.  Over the years since, I’ve often thought about how that would have felt if her other hand had been wrapped around my "hard" cock, stroking in time to her finger buried in my ass.  Or if I had been buried in her mouth.  Those thoughts however, have certainly produced some prodigous "cums" since then.

Happy stroking!      

Penis Freed By Fire Fighter At The Hospital

Seven firefighters from St. Mary´s station in Southampton had to come to the rescue of a 40-year-old man who showed up at the hospital with his penis stuck inside a metal pipe.

Fire fighters arrived with a special apparatus to free the pipe from his appendage. They used a metal grinder after the man was put under anesthesia to prevent pain from the grinding heat.

Unknown to the hospital is how and why did he got his penis inside a pipe. It was the restriction of blood flow that got the penis stuck after an erection. “I´m sure the man won´t be getting into that situation again” said a spokesman for the firefighters.

via Penis Freed By Fire Fighter At The Hospital.

“How and why”… are they kidding?

thanks to Painful Penis News – Gloria’s Oversexed Mind

Steel Chastity Devices: You’re doing it wrong

I love the British press.

From the Sun (UK):

Man’s penis gets stuck in a pipe

By STAFF REPORTER

Published: 07 Jan 2010

A MAN had to have his penis cut free by SEVEN firefighters after he got it stuck in a steel PIPE.

The crew used a METAL GRINDER for the delicate 30-minute operation, after doctors at Southampton General Hospital tried to release him without success.

The medics failed because the restricted blood flow had caused the man to become aroused.

A crew from the Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe free on Tuesday morning.

Afterwards, the patient was given an anaesthetic and although his willy was left bruised and swollen it was otherwise unharmed.

The anxious man aged about 40 failed to explain how the pipe had become stuck.

A Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman said today: “Initially the crew did not have the appropriate cutting equipment to free the man.

“It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting.

“It’s certainly an unusual call-out and I’m sure the man won’t be getting into that situation again.”

It rather reminds me of the guy last year who panicked and needed his own chastity device cut off by the local fire department.

What is it with you crazy kids across the pond, that you keep needing to be cut out of things like this?

via Steel Chastity Devices: You’re doing it wrong « The Edge of Vanilla.

Are you a man or a masturbator? [podcasturbation]

A Pants-Down Podcasturbation

In spite of today’s tolerant environment, many people believe that real men don’t masturbate; or at least, don’t masturbate chronically.  So which are you: a man, or a masturbator. This audio program will help you decide.

Click to download or listen:

Note: if this is your first visit to my site, please see what it is about or listen to other of my podcasturbations.