masturbators said:
there is certainly agreement to your comment "Isn’t it strange how chronic masturbators like us turn shame and humiliation of our behavior into a powerful erotic experience?"
the shame and humiliation may cause some to turn from their wicked ways and seek a more moral existence. for me (and probably for at least some of us) the deep humiliation is the narcotic to which seems to form what could be classified as an ‘addiction’.
the question becomes just what would it really take to ’shame and humiliate’ us these days to the extent that we would change?
it seemed to me that when i became a ‘responsible male adult’ that there was a ‘form’ with a lot of items to accomplish to complete the list. now that i am old and have completed all that i can complete on the form, i am not sure that there is anything that would be considered a real limit.
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The origin of this shame/arousal nexus is mysterious to me, unless it is a
way to "re-process" a painful experience of shame and humiliation into a
positive pleasure. That might be the origin of most sub-male pleasures. But
it's got to be more complex than that.
Masturbation serves so well for a person who WANTS to be humiliated for
whatever reason. If you find humiliation to be arousing, and you masturbate
habitually, then the habit itself is humiliating and therefore all the more
arousing. And you become "addicted", another source of humiliation.
Especially since "chronic masturbators" are looked on (when I was growing
up) as a person with defective character and will power.
As far as what it takes to change (I prefer "break the habit") it would take
a real health-or-wealth threatening experience, or maybe the impending
breakup of my marriage. Nothing else could make me give up these guilty but
immeasurably enjoyable pleasures.
Humiliation has always been at the center of my sexual thoughts, since my first memories of such things. i’ve always associated embarrassment with sexual arousal and activity, influenced by everything from cartoons to who-knows-what. Masturbation goes hand-in-hand with that (pun intended).
In high school, it was common to joke about guys masturbating if you thought they were losers. Girls would dismiss guys they’d never dream of dating as “jerk-offs”. It may have been the case that every guy was jerking off as fervently and frequently as i was in those days, but no one who wanted to preserve any semblance of popularity would EVER admit to it.
i developed numerous fetishes, so the fact that the things i imagined while jerking off would have subjected me to further humiliation if anyone had ever found out about them added to the shame/arousal of my habit. i suspected that most guys – especially the popular jock-types – fantasized about fucking the cheerleaders and that sort of thing. i fantasized about being forced by the cheerleaders to wear their panties in front of them. i would excuse myself from class to go to the bathroom, and sit in the stall, furiously pumping my penis while thinking of the cute girl in class…but my fantasy would always turn to something i found humiliating: anything from being pantsed in front of her in the middle of class so she’d see my little erection, to elaborate fantasies about the celebrity MILF i secretly lusted for in those days coming to school and, posing as my Mother, pulling me out of class while scolding me for stealing and wearing her panties that day.
i knew these were not normal. And that knowledge made my near-constant desire to masturbate even more humiliating. What kind of a guy strikes out with girls in his sexual fantasies? What kind of loser can’t even score with the cheerleaders in his own horny daydreams?
And yet those were the fantasies i preferred. It was as if there were a second mind inside my own that forbade me from having “real men’s sexual fantasies”. In fact, i started to imagine a “Guide” to my sexual fantasies, an imaginary woman who would lead me through my most humiliating fantasies as i jerked off, and comment on them, watching me with a mixture of amusement, sympathy, and disgust. i wonder if some of you have imagined a similar construct? (Mine was based on 80s/90s supermodel Frederique van der Wal)
To this day, humiliation remains at the center of all of my many, many sexual fantasies – all of which i masturbate to helplessly every day. Usually at least twice.
i totally understand what peter is saying here about humiliation being part of his masturbation fantasies…it is probably not surprising that they are definitely part of my erotic map too.
Yes I have “guides” in my masturbation fantasies also. Not the same female each time though. Sometimes she is a MILF, maybe a nurse or counselor. Sometimes a hottie college girl who teases me for fun. But like you I am never allowed to have full satisfying and manly intercourse. I am humiliated with my masturbation habit and forced to ejaculate outside the pussy I so urgently crave. I’m just a chronic masturbator and don’t deserve real pussy.