Dear Prudence,

I have been married for seven years, but I am still troubled by how to speak openly about masturbation with my spouse. I masturbate pretty much every morning after getting up and every evening before I go to bed, unless I think my wife and I will make love. The problem is that my wife sees my masturbation as a declaration that she does not please me, which is not true. I enjoy our lovemaking, and I’d prefer to make love to her as often as I masturbate; she’s simply not interested in doing it that often. (Believe me, I’ve tried.) Moreover, she complains that I “take too long” and says she would be more willing if I were “normal” and didn’t last so long. My wife also has suggested there is something wrong with me for wanting to make love or masturbate as often as I do. I accept that I’ll never be able to make love to my wife as often as I would like, but how do I convey to her that masturbation is normal and that she shouldn’t see it as evidence that she’s inadequate?

via My wife hates how often I masturbate. – – Slate Magazine .