I am a masturbator — a chronic masturbator. I am incurably addicted to the unnaturally strong sexual gratifications a male achieves only through practiced self-stimulation. I am married and heterosexual, but my fundamental sexual orientation has become autoerotic. Masturbation has become my only mode of sexual expression; animates my erotic fantasies with bizarre and extreme scenarios; consumes my time with reading and writing about it; and drives me to personally connect with fellow male onanists.
But along with the indescribably delicious rapture experienced during extended masturbation, I feel conflict and anxiety about my habit. I must admit to myself that the pleasure comes at a cost in time, accomplishments, and relationships. I often feel that I do it “too much”, neglecting responsibilities and ambitions; from time to time try to stop or cut back, but always fall back into unrestrained self-indulgence. The sense of personal enslavement and lack of self control feeds a shame response, which has become eroticized over time and is now inseparable from the act of masturbation and only stimulates me to greater excess. To borrow a phase, “I am ashamed because I masturbate, and I masturbate because I am ashamed.”
Your presence here, your discovery of this dark corner of the Web is not accidental. You share the experiences I describe. Like me, you are a chronic masturbator. Perhaps even an addicted masturbator. You may know and acknowledge your masturbatory nature, or you may be just now discovering it. You are welcome here, and I promise you are not alone.
If this self-awareness is new to you, it may be difficult to accept. The world is not kind to chronic masturbators. We are objects of pity, or derision. We are not “real men”. We hide our nature to avoid ridicule and embarrassment. You know this; you feel ashamed and guilty for what you are becoming. But it’s OK, I understand. You are a masturbator. It is not something you can stop or control. You are welcome here, and I promise you are not alone.
That is why you have come here: to feel that you are not alone. You want, you need, you must know that others feel the call of our own flesh and willingly surrender to it. You want to know how another masturbator handles himself, what fantasies he has, what toys he uses, whether like you he is in rut for his own hand or feels the sweet sad emptiness after a spurting release. You are welcome here, and I promise you are not alone.
Perhaps you have a partner but find yourself uninterested or even incapable of partner sex –your male organs feel so much better in your own hands. You want to know if others no longer enter their partners, and wish only to copulate with themselves. You are welcome here, and I promise you are not alone.
So many secrets you want to know, and to reveal your secrets in turn. And you instinctively know that only another chronic masturbator can understand how you feel and accept you without judgement. You are welcome here, and I promise you are not alone.
About this Site
Onania . Org/asm expresses my personal experiences living with masturbation addiction and a life-long fascination with male masturbatory behavior — especially in its more chronic and compulsive manifestations. Here I reveal my innermost needs and conflicts. I am driven to make this public expression as much as I need to ejaculate my semen.
But it is more than a personal mental ejaculation. It is a resource for people living with masturbation addiction, dealing with uncontrollable urges. Here you will find a wide range of articles, fiction, and audio files dealing with the subject of male masturbation.
The site is male in focus, both because I am male and I believe that males make up the vast majority of addicted masturbators. Chronic masturbation is a behavior that cuts across all sexual preference lines, and adult men of all sexual orientations from straight to gay will find much in common here.
Women also are fully welcome to enjoy the site (and post comments), whether you are a chronic masturbator yourself, the partner of a masturbator, or simply curious about male masturbatory habits. Female partners of male masturbators have a special role: your help and understanding can assist the addicted male to control his habit and maintain balance with other priorities in life. I invite ladies to contact me personally by email if you have questions.
Chronic masturbation is a major social and personal challenge facing males today. Once in the grip of masturbatory addiction, it is virtually impossible for the male to free himself from the habit. For some it can take over his life, leading to loss of esteem, career achievement, social ties, and family well being. Shame and embarrassment, fear of humiliation and ridicule, prevent us from openly discussing our issues with family, friends, or counselors. This site may help those struggling in silence.
However, if you reject your urges and sincerely wish to escape your masturbatory habits, then beware: you will find no help or comfort here. I offer only the cautionary example of a soul who long ago lost that battle and unconditionally surrendered to living with habitual and chronic masturbation addiction.