“JUST A LUCKY JACKER….” A SHORT BIOGRAPHICAL STORY
I’m just a freakingly lucky guy I guess, I’ve been touching
myself “inappropriately” and way, way to much and often since I was
eleven, and it seems the beat-off-gods have approved and blessed me
and my habit mightily!
Well, here’s what I’m talking about, just about a year ago my friend
Kathleen at work tells me she’s having an affair with a married
man. Not only is the dude married, but he’s here from England, and
since he can’t stay with her he needs a place to crash for six-
months or so. I figure I could use the extra cash flow having a
roommate would provide, I meet the guy, Kenny, and he’s nice enough
quirky accent, a slightly rough but sexy exterior, and so I decide
it’s a “go”.
So Kenny moves in his gear, and Kathleen’s over more than usual
getting boffed by the Brit. But into the first weekend, I’m shower
pretty early in the morning, and old Ken walks on into the bathroom
and says, “sorry bro, need to take a whiz and dump, hope you don’t
mind sharing the john”.
Now I’m not shy about anyone seeing my dick in the showers or
anywhere else, but two guy’s hearing nature’s call in the same tiny
room at the same time is a bit off wouldn’t you say? Then again who
am I to talk, I’m one of those dude’s you only hear about, who are
said to work their every-morning hard-on into a frenzy then massage
their cum onto their belly and chest, then take a coffee-break at
work to pump out another load or two at some urinal, then put
themselves to sleep at night by jacking-off again while massaging
their nuts and crack….. so that’s me brief… or in this case no
There I am soapy lather head to toe, soaking wet, and bare ass with
a clear shower curtain, oh well I think seeing Kenny is naked as
well, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. But I’m somewhat
disappointed as I usually have my first jack session of the day
during my shower.
My new roomy plants his ass on the toilet, takes care of business,
and then oh-my-gawd, the dude starts rubbing his dick and getting a
major bone going sitting on the pot with me and the clear shower
curtain like a few inches away. Once I get over the fact that this
almost stranger from London is wanking in my bathroom with me there,
my juices start to bubble and brew, and next thing you know I’ve got
the “situation in hand” and I’m matching my new roommate stroke for
stoke, I let loose a major wad all over the plastic curtain, and
this fucker shoots nearly all the way across the bathroom, streams
and streams of the whitest jizz flying up like the Forth of July!
New best buddy Kenny says, “thanks mate, nothing better than a
pecker-pull after a good morning piss” and goes back to his room.
OK, now I know I’ve got a fellow masturbator in my home, so being a
good host I show him where the porn stash is, tons of mags and
video, mostly all straight (if some kinky) sex, but also an enviable
collection of solo guys taking charge of their own needs.
And that’s what Kenny seems to have in the video player all the
time, and now the ice has been broken, he never seems to wear
anything when he’s home (and that’s fine with Kathleen too when she
comes over for her boffing sessions) but hey, it’s a tad odd for me
knowing and working with her and all, and knowing her married-
gentleman-friend is one hell of a bare-assed-compulsive-addicted-
masturbator cut of the same cloth as me!
Long story short (well, shorter) it takes no time at all for Kenny
the Wanker and me to bond mano-e-mano. I come home from work and
strip off my clothes, my roomy is usually all ready home and stark
neck-ed too, and before you can say “cheap lube gels” we’re side by
side on the sofa watching porno all night, or thigh to thigh in bed
pulling the puds, spanking the monkey, and beating the bishop to
beat the band.
Two guys lost in their own dicks, mak’in moans and grunt and snort
noises, sweaty backs and asses glued to the sheets, and shooting
load after load of spooge all over our chest hair not to mention the
furniture. Hey, just two guys doing what they gotta do anyway, but
in closer proximity than you might find politically correct, right?
Hey, I don’t mind he’s fucking my workmate, and he doesn’t look
twice at who I fuck, all that matters is we’re two guys who `bate
almost non stop, who both have pretty much museum quality dicks
hanging off `em, and who are really getting to like each other’s man-
sex smells around the apartment, I can only hope that cum stained
rugs, walls, and tables get to be the hot new decorating craze.
Gotta admit, it’s been great to have a roommate, friend, buddy,
cohort, fellow-jacker to share beat-off techniques, jack fantasies,
sordid stories, and sexual confessions with, plus we both like the
same kind of porn, the same kind of lube, and wear the same kind of
briefs, and both of us get off gently yanking on our nuts at the
point of orgasm, hey sometimes I even miss work staying home to
lube, edge, and explode… life is good right?
Well, things were about to get better, much better…. hey what did I
say upfront… I’m just a freakingly lucky guy I guess. It’s about
three-months into roommate beat-off land, and a world of blissfully
endless jacking. I’m coming home from the store to find a moving
truck in front of our building, yep a newly wed couple is moving in
right next door (gee, I think, I hope they won’t mind the noise of
two sex crazed addicts heated masturbation sessions day and night
and most all the weekends) so being your normal polite friendly perv
I say hello to the young and happy couple.
So here’s the dirt, she’s fine…. I mean just fine. A little redhead
with great skin and very few freckles, just over five feet, with
come-hither green eyes, and the perkiest tits you ever did see, she
is a wet-dream of a sexy little wife she is.
And he’s this tall Nordic type, all blonde hair and blue eyes and
perfect teeth all over the place, and he’s really tall over six-feet
with one of those broad shoulder narrow waist swimmer guy things
going on. I mean my new neighbors are one hot sexy bookend-couple,
a fact not lost on bro Kenny when he sees them for the first time
I wait till the weekend to let them get settled in, then pull out a
nice bottle of French red wine, sorta tie a bow around it, and knock
on the new newlywed neighbor’s door to give them an official welcome
to the building.
Whoa! And I mean whoa, tall blonde husband answers the door, and
just like my roommate and me, I guess they like to shed their
clothes when they’re home, `cause he (his name is Thomas) `cause Tom
is neck-ed as the day he was borned, and I can’t help but notice
that tall as this guy is, he’s got a mighty schlong to go along with
his major height and smooth chiseled bod.
Let’s just say in his case it’s easy to see why they sometimes call
guy’s cocks “danglers”. Right behind her hubby, pops out perky-tits
red-head (all right her name is Cindy) and Cindy and Tom kinda blush
really pretty and sexy, and even say “ooops”, and then, wonder of
wonders, they invite me in to pop the cork on the wine!
I’m kinda waiting for them to slip into robes or something, but they
stay as nature made them, his perfect dangle dangling away and her
perfect tits bouncing with soft invitation. Then Cindy says as
we’re sitting with the red wine, I mean this swear-to-the-porn-gods,
she says, “I was just about to jack-off Thomas for his Saturday
treat, wanna watch?” and I just about drop my wine.
It seems one of the things that brought them together was good old
masturbation, she likes to watch him beat-off into oblivion, and he
likes to watch her work several fingers inside her very wet puss,
and they like to take turns helping the other get off, great couple
huh, and now I’m in on the invite?
As Tom’s dangle is now a tall solider ready and drooling for battle,
I drop the shy act and let them know that I’m a major bad-
boy `bator, and my housemate is into perv and pulling too, and Cindy
(and I was not expecting this) says, “goody! I can stoke both you
and Thomas at once, and just lie in the middle between you guys, and
aim your cocks at my tits, and get soaked with both your loads!” and
she really does look like she’s just won some cool lottery or
Truth be told, as time went on things got even hotter, like my Nord
bud boffing the little redhead wife, and letting me nuzzle and lick
his nuts and ass from behind while he pumps into her. Or he and I
getting intertwined cock-to-cock and her double-fist beating us both
off, letting us shoot on her creamy breasts. Let’s just say a great
and unusual time was had by all parties.
Now, truth be told, Tom is a major `bator too, he can `bate most
anyone under the table, me included, he jacks off three or four
times a day and frankly even Cindy can’t keep up with the tall
blonde dangle. I know Thomas beats off in the building’s laundry
room, and in the tiny airplane johns, and at the urinals in movie
theatres, and will flip it out his pants just about anywhere finer
cock is appreciated.
So guess what? When Kenny’s over at Kathleen’s or Kathleen is over
at my place making Ken’s eyes roll back in his head, I just wander
over next door, drop outa my sweat pants, and I’ve got a dedicated
wanking buddy in Thomas. He’ll even pull on mine for me, cup my
balls in his long fingered hands when I blow cum, and begs me to
shoot my wad all over his big smooth blonde ball sack (he says Cindy
will gladly lick up the mess later) gotta love apartment living!
I don’t know that I offered at the Alter of Priapus, but gotta tell
you, my solo jerk’in days seem over, I got a hot nasty hairy Brit
down the hall, and a smooth Nordic boy just next door, who both are
insatiable masturbators, and now it’s pretty usual for the three of
us to ditch-the-bitches and spend an entire evening or a whole
Sunday in marathon beat and `bator sessions, you’d be astounded at
how much cum three dudes can pump out together in one long day’s
I’m just a freakingly lucky guy I guess, and if we ever hook-up, I’d
be glad to share all that raging, hormonal, hot and sweaty luck with
`Bator Bro Marc in San Francisco