In the Onania Masturbator Forum, a Masturbator Wrote:
About a week or so ago I revealed my biggest fear to my wife. It is that she would prefer her huge black dildo over sex with me. If she had sex with other men, it’d be something I could compete with. Like I could argue, at least to myself, “I’m better than him because of this and that”. But with a dildo I can not compete. It’s bigger, harder, better shaped, always ready, never complains, and goes on as long as wanted.
About a week or so ago I reveled my biggest fear to my wife. It is that she would prefer her huge black dildo over sex with me. If she had sex with other men, it’d be something I could compete with. Like I could argue, at least to myself, “I’m better than him because of this and that”. But with a dildo I can not compete. It’s bigger, harder, better shaped, always ready, never complains, and goes on as long as wanted.
So, of course, my wife got interested. She’s used the dildo couple of times and now says that it’s better than I am. Obviously she compares the size. She puts the approx. 12” dildo next to my penis and says:” Oh, can you see the difference. That’s why it’s better than you. You can never give me anything like this does.”
I feel so ashamed and inadequate. How could she possibly give up on sex with me? Don’t all the things we’ve done through the years mean anything to her? I’m not an object and therefore can not be compared to one. I have so much more to give than it has. It can not discuss, react or return feelings. In a word it’s not human. With it there’s no what is most important to us humans: feelings and interaction, sociality. That’s why it feels so humiliating when she says that sex with her dildo is better than sex with me.
However, there are several things that do not add up making her statement not credible. Firstly, she has had the dildo for several years and she hasn’t used it. So why now when I express my feelings she begins to fuel it? I just find it difficult to believe that it is inherently what she thinks. I feel more that she’s trying to “please” me; by saying something like that she’ll have effect on me. If she had really liked the dildo she would have used it extensively.
Secondly, she’s always been saying that the dildo is too big. Maybe that’s the reason why she hasn’t been using it but nevertheless it means that now she’s been using it for other reasons than her own liking.
Thirdly, we have had couple of times sex even after my ‘revelation’ so it can’t be that bad. I just can’t think she could live without sex. The dildo can not substitute that.
On the other hand, I think sex is essential part of an intimate relationship. It makes the relationship special, as with your partner you have sex and not with others. I know that many of you on this forum have different opinion on this matter, but for me that is how it is. In addition, there’s huge difference in if you masturbate so much that you’re not able/willing to have sex compared to when someone does not want to have sex with you. The former is sort of your own decision, you’ve done it on your terms, but the latter is brute force applied on you.
Second difference is that most of you use porn to masturbate. Sex with a partner is not arousing to you as you’ve re-associated your brain to get turned on by porn and your hand, whereas for me my wife is the hottest thing on earth. I can not imagine getting turned on anything else. And more she humiliates me, more my brain get associated with her. It’s like drug to me and as it’s real, no porn can compete with that. So giving up on sex with her would be serious blow to my sex life and personality. I would not be like:” C’mon, you can always masturbate. You do not need sex.”
Having said that there is an angle into this which makes my cock rock hard. If she refuses to have sex with me, it would be, at least at the moment, the worst humiliation I can think of. I would feel really, really inadequate and lower than she. I would be the one with desire and the passion and she would be above those primitive and, in my case, harmful ideas. I would be the animal and she would be the human-owner. She would always turn cold shoulder to me, reject me, ridicule and mock me of my wants. That would be real inequality, not just words as she would be in control of herself, her life and ultimately my life. I would be a degenerate masturbation addict loser who would only get off of worse humiliation and further exploitation. She could take advantage of me knowing that the only thing I need is masturbation and humiliation. I’d trade everything to that. It would be sexual to me but not to her. She would definitely be smarter and better than I. Also, it would be between two of us. Nobody else is influenced. That makes it more realistic to go for.
Think about that, I’ve become so fucked up addict that I have these ideas where my sexual pleasure, so minor in normal life, has become so major in my life that I’m saying to myself that it is awesome, the hottest thing in the world, if my wife refuses to have sex with me like for real, forever. I’m not even shamed to say that, it’s so hot that I do not care. It’s sooo crazy and sooo scary but I’m so fucked up by the masturbation that I’ll say it even though I do not really hope it’ll happen.
We will later see if there’s something concrete in this or if it is just a fantasy.
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