In the Onania Masturbator Forum, a Masturbator Wrote:
It’s been a while for me, but today I remembered when I stopped trying to quit being a compulsive masturbator. It was so relieving admiting that I am a complete addict, and that I will likely never change. Before that I had always felt a little guilty – I was still binge masturbating (close to what I do now; around 6 hours on weekdays, 10 – 12 on weekends) – but I tried to maintain somewhat of a social life, and would often try to quit, usually just lasting a few days.
The moment of accepting who I am came after my last attempt at quitting. I hadn’t edged that whole work week (Monday through Friday), but as I came home on Friday I passed an adult video store. While I didn’t go in, just thinking about all the wonderful porn and perverts in there got me so hard, I went home and immediately started edging, furiously watching porn on the internet. I edged through the whole weekend, cancelling plans to see friends, totally captive to the BBWs and gangbangs I was watching online. At that moment I accepted who I was. There have only been a handful of days I haven’t edged at least 2 hours since then – and that was about 7 years ago.
Now I am a hermit masturbator, who doesn’t need to worry about my “friends” bothering me because they stopped calling a long time ago. I know I will never have a “normal” family life, or social life, but this is who I am. I am ashamed at what I have turned in to, but that just fuels me. All I want now is more humiliation porn, as I sit in my masturbation cave and edge my life away. I need this so badly…..
What a wonderful testimonial!
I certainly understand how this addiction cuts into one’s social and family life. As I type this, my wife is in bed frustrated because I don’t fuck her anymore. I just can’t give up the edging and being online. I’ve even begun in the last year to encourage her to step out on me. It hasn’t happened yet, but I am hopeful.
Gaining access to the net was the turning point for me. I did searches on masturbation and soon discovered some great forums and groups with one of the best being the old CPM group.
Discovering there are many guys who love masturbating at least as much if not more than I do was a huge help in accepting who I am and resulted in raising the pleasure I get from it to a whole new level.
Fully agree. Finding like minded guys online in groups like this has significantly strengthened my addiction. Being in a community of guys who understand how I can edge in close to all of my free time and still NEED more fuels me. Additionally, all the wonderful porn niches available online (for me cuckold, humiliation, hypnosis, tall amazon women, bbws, gangbangs, among others) keeps me constantly aroused.
It completely takes control. When I started becoming a hardcore addict around 10 years ago I had a steady gf – although she didn’t state it explicitly, I know she broke up with me because I couldn’t get hard anymore for her.
Since then I have lived alone, in masturbatory bliss, but without a love life or much of a social life (practically none in last 7 years). I go to work and edge. I know I have turned into a hopeless addict who lets masturbation rule my life. I am intensely ashamed of what I have become – I know I am the definition of a jerk off loser – but it turns me on so much. It is a cycle I know I cannot stop