Onania Masturbator Forum: Developing addiction

In the Onania Masturbator Forum, a Masturbator Wrote:

Why I’m in the deep end on this and why this really is becoming a problem is that I no more have “natural limits”: both me and my wife know that if and when this causes problems I enjoy even then because of the kicks that the humiliation gives. For example, now when I’m at home masturbating when I really should be in the office, she mocks me of my stupidity and how weak I am, which just makes my cock harder and causes me masturbate more for several hours.


Developing addiction

I’ve been a member of this forum for some time now, and all the time it’s been my intention to introduce myself, but I’ve been too busy masturbating. Finally I was able to hold myself together enough to write this introduction.

I’m in my early forties and I’ve been an enthusiastic masturbator more than twenty years. My masturbation addiction really started to grow with the broadband Internet connection I got in mid 90’s. Before that it was just occasional quick release to “remove the itch”, I’d say, but with Internet it really started to bring more content in my life and became more time consuming. I spent hours, days, nights to masturbate watching huge tits and female domination themed things. But I was able to control the addiction, and I think it’s mainly because there was always “natural limits”, as I call them, to stop the masturbation. As I was single and student, other people were not affected so I could do it to the exhaustion (a natural limit). Then I slept and rested couple of days and returned to my duties and pulled everything together, until the urge came back. Intense and unusual, but pretty harmless to everybody.

I’ve always been submissive and a huge humiliation junky and the years spent watching that type of porn has left my brains wired to get more and more of that drug. The next big leap in my masturbation addiction happened around a year ago when my wife realised she could use my weakness to her advantage. When I masturbate I start to crave humiliation and become more submissive. She started to encourage me to masturbate as much as possible in order to transform me into a mindless and desperate addict with very low willpower to resist her.

Last night I woke up at 2:30 AM because of raging hardon. I masturbated for two hours. Yesterday my wife had a friend over. I asked could I go to the basement to masturbate and she agreed for two hours. eventually it took three and in the morning I had already been masturbating for two hours, which makes in total around 7 hours in 24 hours. On weekdays I’ve started to sneak out from the work on afternoons to come to home to masturbate, so for the past month I’ve been masturbating 5-10 hours per day.

Why I’m in the deep end on this and why this really is becoming a problem is that I no more have “natural limits”: both me and my wife know that if and when this causes problems I enjoy even then because of the kicks that the humiliation gives. For example, now when I’m at home masturbating when I really should be in the office, she mocks me of my stupidity and how weak I am, which just makes my cock harder and causes me masturbate more for several hours.

Longest time I’ve been edging without orgasm was six weeks. That included a week in hotel. Yes, I booked a hotel for a week so that I could masturbate without distraction. On that week I masturbated more than 100 hours, more than 15 hours per day. I would do the same again as soon as my wife will let me go.

We have been planning that I masturbate for one entire night on weekly basis. However, so far we have considered this will affect too much her when I’ll be sleepy on the next day, so we have not yet started this practice.

Sometimes I take Viagra just to make sure I masturbate vigorously for five hours.

Sorry about the hasty finish, I really have to go to whack off.

 

My wife asked me to share with the forum what has happened lately so here it goes…

Last time we have had sex was about a month ago. At the time I had been without orgasm for a month or so, so it was very difficult for me to desist from orgasm which forced me often to stop fucking her. She said that “I was not good in the bed anymore” and liked that a lot.

Now two days ago we had sex again as she wanted. Again I’ve had been without orgasm for a month or so and it was extremely difficult to avoid having one during the sex. My wife started to tell me that firstly she will be using extremely large dildos so that my dick will feel small to her. At that point I had to take my penis out and it spurted huge load of semen on the sheets. But horny as I was, I continued to fuck her. 

Then she told me that after she’s done with the huge dildos she’ll find huge real cocks to fuck her. I had to stop fucking her again and had another huge load on the sheets. But again I continued to fuck her.

Next she told me that she’ll get huge silicone implants. Whooa, I was in heaven again fucking her like crazy. Then she said that the only time I’ll get to see her breasts will be when she’s titty fucking and there’s huge cock in between them. And here we go again, I had third massive orgasm on the sheets. All this happened just in two three minutes! My wife said that it was a really lousy fuck, but she was thrilled by what happened. In fact she’s being so excited of it that she’s been on very good mood ever since and keeps reminding me of it. It’s weird how sex affects us and what is “good” or what is “bad” sex.

 

Here’s next story to my developing addiction.

About two weeks ago I had been masturbating a lot. On Wednesday I masturbated around 10-11 hours i a row. I was not able to stop and continued till I was forced to stop. No, I was not caught, but I tried to stop myself without being successful.

That made me to think what duties had I missed. I felt really bad, ashamed, and physically sick. How could I be such an idiot? Have I really become this bad? I cannot be like this… I was not able to masturbate for a week. I felt so depressed that I neglected my wife badly. Because of that we had a massive argument which settled only after I had told her what had happened, why I felt the way I did and why I did behave like that.

What I think was that happened was that I went too far with the masturbation and fantasies. It, I myself, really repulsed me. I was not able to masturbate for a week because I had exceeded my limits.

This is important notice and my conclusion. Whatever it is that attracts you, makes you feel good, makes your serotonin and other chemicals on the move, whether it is alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, whatever, the difference between an addict and others is that an addict will continue to do it even when it makes him feel bad. He tries to ‘correct’ the bad feeling by doing more. He does not address the real causes of the problem. I was not able to do that, and that’s why I do not qualify an addict. I cannot see myself escaping my problems into masturbation. Quite contrary, I cannot masturbate unless my life and duties are in order.

After hearing what had happened, why and how I felt, my wife got excited. She said that I should masturbate more and that next time she’ll give no sympathy. I told her that no way. We have passed the border here and that I cannot enjoy masturbation. Maybe I can later if it’s limited to ‘nice sex’. That is the intention of the masturbation is strictly limited to enjoyable sex and she’s not to encourage my addiction.

She said that’s bullshit and next time I need to go further to get my kicks. She’s probably right in that I probably masturbate again so much that it makes me feel bad, but that does not mean that I would aim it and start to like it. It’s so hard to see me masturbating to recover from masturbating too much.

Anyway, now when I’m able to masturbate again, we decided that I come to a hotel to masturbate couple of days. Let’s see how this goes.

 

Hello again

It’s been several months since my last visit to this site. I’ve been trying to abstain from masturbation and thought that staying away from this site would help in it.

I’ve learned a lot of myself and addictions in general. I was able to reduce masturbation for several months but I’ve been back on it for a week now. I’ve become to realise that I can control my addiction by arranging my life so that there are things that prevent me from masturbating. It all started where my las post to this forum ended. I was getting too deep into the addiction for my closest ones to bear. It felt bad to both of us, so the only logical choice was to find way to limit it. Like we have been socially active. We have invited people over to our place and been visiting them. I was very busy with work. This all keeps me from masturbating.

Sounds easy but there’s a catch in it. You need somebody to help you. It would be extremely difficult to do alone. To create yourself barriers that would prevent you from doing something you think is the best in the world. But that’s how you live with an addiction: you can’t limit it so you need external limits. Otherwise you’ll be consumed by your addiction.

In particular, with this masturbation addiction there’s no limit on it by yourself. You carry it, and the means to it, always with you. Even sex addiction can more easily be limited from outside as in that you need a partner, with internet porn addiction you need computer, and so on, but with masturbation addiction you only need to lower your pants. So natural obstacles are practically non-existent. That’s why you need help from outside. You need structure your life so that IT makes the masturbation difficult. I, for example, been so tired when I get to bed that I’ve fell asleep without first masturbating.

But I’ve also learned that the addiction is there. It does not go away even with time. If given the opportunity I’ll masturbate as much as possible. I would masturbate so much that it would damage me. Fortunately it’s the others that keep me from doing it.

 

 

For more like this, join the Onania Masturbator Forum,  a supportive, affirming community of people living with chronic addiction to masturbation. The focus is on our lives as addicted masturbators, and the pleasures / conflicts / impacts related to our compelling habit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.