Obsessed and partnered

Rob said:

i too am partnered, that’s no secret. i can’t recall if i’ve ever discussed my partnership on the message board or not but i have discussed it frequently in individual chats i’ve had with various members. we’ve been together 8+ years and undoubtedly will continue our relationship for hopefully many more years in the future. my partner knows i’m an obsessed chronic and dedicated edger gooner marathon masturbator. he knows that male masturbation is my passion….

i remember some of the discussions he and i had regarding my masturbation obsession/addiction when we first met one another. he didn’t understand it then and still doesn’t really understand it all these years later. he told me in some of those early discussions that ALL men love to masturbate, including himself. i corrected him. i told him that practically all men love to jackoff, but all men are NOT truly masturbators. i think there are some very distinct differences between jacking off and masturbating. jacking off is casual. it’s usually a substitution for “other” sex. masturbation is much more refined. it is a sexuality desired in and of itself.
having come to know my partner well over the years, he is definitely a jacker and NOT a masturbator. he usually gets off pretty quick. he does not understand prolonged masturbation. he doesn’t “get it” when it comes to edging and gooning. sure, i have from time to time gotten him to try edging a bit. he’s been able to last for about 30 minutes or so sometimes when edging but that is rare. he even enjoys it. but he still doesn’t understand it and he doesn’t want to do it that often at all. he is not driven to or by masturbation as i am and as i am sure a number of other members of this group are. he jacks off but he would much rather have “other” sex instead whereas i prefer masturbation most of the time instead of “other” sex.
now, having said all of this, i want to convey also that our relationship is good. other than the masturbation/sexual incompatibilities we are great in every other aspect of our relationship. and the masturbation/sexual incompatibility is really no big deal to either of us. he does understand it enough to know that excessive bate is compelling for me, it is necessary and so he does not interfere with my bate pursuits. and i know that i have to sometimes forego masturbation in order to have “other” sex with him as he prefers. and so we compromise when we need to and it works for us. but then again, some compromise is necessary on some issue or another in any relationship isn’t it?
i sometimes get to masturbate with other men on the rare occasion that i can find another true masturbator locally. my partner has even joined me with other men on a few occasions. for the most part my partner has been cool with my meeting other masturbators because he realizes that the masturbation i indulge in and share with another true bator is an intrinsic part of who i am and who the other man is. it’s a sexuality that although he cannot fully appreciate it himself, he does understand it well enough to allow me to indulge in it for myself. when he has joined us i even observe in him and have glimmers of hope that my partner might become more bator obsessed himself. and he does, at times. but it is not perpetual, it does not last. nevertheless, i’m not daunted by it.
as a masturbator i also wanted romantic love in my life. i have that with my partner. would i have preferred to find that romantic love with another masturbator such as myself? sure, but finding another obsessed masturbator, as many of us here well know, is very difficult and rare. i’m sure that finding romantic love with a like minded masturbator is probably even more rare. still, i know a few members of __ have found such relationships for themselves and you have my highest regards and well wishes. you are lucky men indeed.
i love my partner, he loves me, i love our relationship and i will protect and preserve our partnership in perpetuity. i am a lifelong masturbator and i have no desire whatsoever to change that about myself and so i will protect and preserve my masturbation passions as well.
stroke on…..mmmmm yeah!!!!!

3 thoughts on “Obsessed and partnered

  1. I’m straight but in the same situation. I have not fucked my wife in years but she understands my being a masturbator.

  2. Great letter and inspiring. I too have the same situation but my partner has NO idea I masturbate as much as I do. I am chronic for sure and certainly prefer my solo masturbation to regular sex. I have phoned various hotlines and am assured I am perfectly normal and as time goes on I realize I am not alone. I masturbate whenever I have a chance and on certain days for hours on end in sheer pleasure I find empowering. If anybody has any other helpful hints I am islanddude six three one at hotmail dot com. 5am and mastubating before my day begins, its a wondeful thing. Thanks for reading my fellow bators.

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