by Michael Ashworth, Ph.D.
June 13, 2007
Oh, the classic masturbation question — how much is too much? Do people who are in a relationship masturbate? Oops, Delilah’s getting carried away here and asking the questions instead of answering them…
More to the point: Individuals vary tremendously in how much they masturbate. Some folks wouldn’t dream of it, while others masturbate two or three times in their lives, and others two or three times a day. (And those aren’t the only options!) There are no deleterious effects of masturbation itself, and it shouldn’t matter whether you’re single or in a relationship.
On the other hand, since you’re worried about how your masturbation may be affecting your relationship with your partner, here are a few things to think about to help you decide if it’s a problem or not:
- How is your health? Has it changed in any way since you increased your masturbation?
- Are you satisfied with your life — career, relationship, friendships — or are you using masturbation as an escape from things that are bothering you?
- Is your penis or clitoris sore or bruised?
- Do you have any problem orgasming or ejaculating alone or with your partner?
- Do you still have sex with your partner? Are you having an amount of sex that you’re both content with?
You see, it’s not about how often you masturbate but about how you’re living the rest of your life. As long as masturbation is a part of your life and not instead of your life, you’re fine. When masturbation becomes an escape from problems in your relationship, or it begins to affect your health, or turn into a substitute for real life experiences, then you should consider slowing down on your stroking and dealing with who and what’s around you.